Getting Out of Our Own Way

"The world we see that seems so insane may be the result of a belief system that isn't working. The belief system holds that the fearful past will extend into a fearful future, making the past and the future one. It is our memory of fear and pain that makes us feel so vulnerable. It is this feeling of vulnerability that makes us want to control and predict the future at all costs."
~Gerald Jampolsky

"To be nobody but yourself in a world that tries its best day and night to make you everyone else, is to fight the hardest battle anyone can fight and never stop fighting."
~John Pearson

"You gain strength, courage, confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.....you must do the thing you think you cannot."
~Eleanor Roosevelt

"Courage is, with love, the greatest gift. We are, each of us, defeated many times - but if we accept defeat with cheerfulness, and learn from it, and try another way - then we will find fulfilment."
~Rosanne Ambrose-Brown

"Courage is being scared to death — and saddling up anyway."
~John Wayne

"Life is a compromise of what your ego wants to do, what experience tells you to do, and what nerves let you do."
~Bruce Crampton

"Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think."
~Benjamin Disraeli

I have been working the last several weeks on something I really believed I could not do. I am expanding, revising and reworking the business plan for Extreme Dreams. Six years ago as I was beginning this company, my husband Jack wanted me to create a business plan for it. I had no clue what a business plan was and had no idea where to even start with creating one! I remember as I began to work with Kyle I decided that since he was a businessman, he could do this! And so I made a deal with him that I would help him with his music if he would help me with my business plan. His first step was to send me to the internet to start looking at all the "plans" and formats that were out there.......I remember sitting at my computer and printing out 40 -50 pages of forms to fill out and questions to answer that I had no clue how to answer! I am quite sure he will never forget the day he called to see how I was doing with the project and had to listen to me crying hysterically about how impossible the task was and how I was TOTALLY incapable of doing it!!!!! I can only imagine him getting off the phone and thinking "and this is who I want to help me with my music?????" I was pitiful!!!!!!!!! One thing I feel sure that DID happen was that he realized that he got a clear picture that day of who he was getting....fears, emotions and all.......and he must have decided that was OK, cause he has hung in there through all it all these years.

Part of the problem back then was that I really did not know what God was doing and how this company would develop and grow. As I look back I realize that though my husband was correct in wanting a business plan......there really was not a business to plan ...YET!!!! As things grew and I learned the music industry, the creation of the plan started to unfold.....and this past year has been a journey of working on that business plan................and yes, Kyle, you have helped me do that....you kept your end of the deal!!!!!!!

And I want to acknowledge and thank him right here for all he has contributed; the insights and ideas that he has added to the mix, the verbage he has taught me, the music industry that he has opened up to me, the artists that he has introduced their music to me, the opportunity he has given to me, the encouragement that he has provided to me and the friendship that he has offered to me. I would not be right here now if God had not sent Kyle Hutton into my life.......and everyone who benefits from Extreme Dreams and all that we are and will be have Kyle to thank for it. I would have remained a Mary Kay Sales Director had Kyle not believed in me and hung in there with me through the growth curves of learning a new industry and career.

As I have been refreshing my understanding of sabatoge strategies and realized that way back "when" I was trying VERY hard to implement one of my strategies due to a Deserve Level that I had reached. I actually had reached a level of success in Mary Kay that I had stretched myself and my deserve level to achieve. It had taken hard work and a lot of change in my thinking to accomplish it. Now I was feeling called into a new arena and as I look back, did not feel I deserved success in the new industry........it was a SELF- CONFIDENCE issue. I was completely confident in my abilities and capabilities for success in Mary Kay........in the music industry I was completely clueless and yet that was where God was clearly leading me....kicking and screaming!!!

We have two areas that affect our Deserve Level.....SELF - ESTEEM and SELF - CONFIDENCE. Many of us believe they are the same and use the words interchangeably...but they are very different. To have a real sense of Self-Esteem, you have to believe you are LOVABLE. It is not an EARNED love....it is GIVEN UNCONDITIONALLY. Our level of SELF- CONFIDENCE is based on the knowledge that we can DO something worthwhile in life....a belief in our ability to achieve. When I was able to separate the two and analyse the ramifications of this...I realized that I had what my Mom always said I had......a HUGE Self-Esteem.......I have felt loved unconditionally by my parents ALL my life......and because of that I have stepped out and risked in relationships and tasks throughout my life.....have been hurt, beat up and gathered myself up again and went right back after it.......because I know I am quite lovable!!!

NOW that SELF-CONFIDENCE thing is another matter......that is a conditional acknowledgement of your performance.....based on doing something well. I have worked through the years to become GOOD at something and through that I have built self- confidence......my High "D" personality drives me to want to prove to myself and others that I could meet the challenge. But the challenge never was the DOING of the thing.....it was overcoming the sabatoge strategies that I utilize to keep me where I believe I belong in life. With each victory, my self -confidence has grown.....and continues to grow. Without a healthy balance of self-esteem AND self-confidence I will OVER- COMPENSATE with my strong SELF -ESTEEM in the areas where I lack self- confidence.....I scratch the WRONG ITCH!!!!! The answer to the problem is to get out of God's and my own way, stop sabatoging His work and allow Him to provide all HE wants to provide.

Working through the challenges of developing this business plan to it's fullest form is the result of a growth and balance in my self-confidence with my self-esteem. My Deserve Level has expanded and will continue to expand. God has great things ahead for me and Extreme Dreams......His plans are INCREDIBLY HUGE......this journey is one I could never have imagined on my own...He HAS opened up and continues to increase my Deserve Levels so that He can provide to me all the blessings He has for me and all those He is preparing to bless through the work of Extreme Dreams. What a ride it will be!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever, AMEN!"
~ Paul in a letter to the Ephesians 3:20-21

Kathy Douglas
President/Owner
Extreme Dreams, LLC
8203 Schaffer Ln.
Houston, TX 77070
Office - 281-890-5034
Fax - 281-469-0267
Cell - 713-398-7304
kathyd@extreme-dreams.com
www.extreme-dreams.com

"Helping people enjoy the journey as much as the destination"

Check out my coaching journal at:
http://extreme-dreams.blogspot.com/

Having an Extraordinary Life

“There is a point at which everything becomes simple and there is no longer any question of choice, because all you have staked will be lost if you look back. Life’s point of no return.”   
~Dag Hammarskjold

 

"Hell begins the day that God grants you the vision to see all that you could have done, should have done, and would have done, but did not do." 
~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

 

“We drive into the future using only our rear view mirror.”  
~Michel de Montaigne

 

“The future enters into us, in order to transform us, long before it happens.”
~Rainer Maria Rilke

 

"Since changes are going on anyway, the great thing is to learn enough about them so that we will be able to lay hold of them and turn them in the direction of our desires. Conditions and events are neither to be fled from nor passively acquiesced in; they are to be utilized and directed." 
~John Dewey

 

"Security can only be achieved through constant change, through discarding old ideas that have outlived their usefulness and adapting others to current facts." 
~William O. Douglas

 

“Security is mostly superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable."  
~Helen Keller

 

Change....we need it so desperately.....we want it so badly and yet we fight it with every fiber of our being. Every year we make "new resolutions" to change our lives and as we look back on our lives, we see we have come no further towards those changes becoming realities in any given year. Time passes and life passes.......our dreams fade and life rolls on.

 

Last night, as part of a study I am helping to facilitate, we watched a movie that came out in 1992....."Enchanted April". I had never heard of the movie, and yet I have fallen in love with this movie. It is about two women who made a decision to change their lives....and in doing so changed the lives of  5 other people. It is now on my "must watch list" for anyone who feels that they MUST accept that their life is set in stone and have to learn to live with it that way. It is one of the most beautiful examples of how Love can change hearts and therefore lives.

 

The other event that happened yesterday has reminded me of the lessons I was learning back in the early '90's .....I received a book that I had ordered from Pat Pearson. Pat's Seminar on "Getting Out of Your Own Way" had been the first opportunity I had encountered where I began to recognize the sabotage strategies that I employ to keep myself where I am......just out of reach of achieving my full dreams.

 

The lessons I learned there were quickly applied......and over time I began to change my beliefs about myself and what I deserved in life. The reminders that I experienced yesterday....the movie and the book ......were not coincidental in their timing....they were perfectly positioned for me as I am stepping out into new and exciting ventures, expanding my relationships and my own beliefs of how much Love and Enjoyment I am allowed to have in this life.

 

During these same early 90's I was reading Mary Kay Ash's new book "You Can Have it All"......learning that I can have it all, I just can't DO it all!!!!!!!! Being the High "D" personality that I am, I want it ALL, but tend to fall into the hole that says I have to DO it all to get it all!!!!!!! WRONG!!! Then because I have this equally High "I" personality, I not only want it all, but I want to be recognized and loved for the achievements ALL the time!!! AND that is just not practical nor does it truly satisfy all the needs I have to be loved and cared for! 

 

Learning to balance my personality, adapt to the needs of others, grow and change my perspective about who I am and what I deserve and STOP sabotaging my own success, were applicable back in the 90's for me......and even more so now!!! So it appears that God has decided to take me through a refresher course on all I have learned and applied in the past, the effective lessons that facilitated my growth and success in the past and will once again accomplish it in my future. What has become clearer than ever before is that though I will benefit from this refresher course, the true beneficiaries with be the artists I represent, the people with whom I work on a daily basis and the clients who need our services. In the 90's it was really all about pulling me out of the holes I had dug myself, and setting me on solid ground. This time is about taking those lessons and helping others reach for their dreams and receive all the goodness, joy and love that God has prepared for them!!!! What a journey this is going to be!!!!!!!!

 

"The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

~Jesus in the Book of John 10:10

 

Kathy Douglas

President/Owner

Extreme Dreams, LLC

8203 Schaffer Ln.

Houston, TX 77070

Office - 281-890-5034

Fax - 281-469-0267

Cell - 713-398-7304

kathyd@extreme-dreams.com

www.extreme-dreams.com

 

"Helping people enjoy the journey as much as the destination"

 

Check out my coaching journal at:

http://extreme-dreams.blogspot.com/

 

Failure is not fatal

"Contentment is not the fulfillment of what we want, but gratitude for what we have. When we recognize the difference between our needs and our desires, we realize that the things most worth having are the things that cannot be bought."

~Roy Lessin

 

"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not....remember that what you now have was once amoung the things you only hoped for"

~Epicurus

 

"The tests of this life are to make, not break us. Trouble may demolish a man's business but build up his character. The blow at the outward man may be the great blessing to the inner man."

~Maltbie D. Babcock

 

"To get up each morning with the resolve to be happy . . . is to set our own conditions to the events of each day. To do this is to condition circumstances instead of being conditioned by them."
~Ralph Waldo  Emerson

 

This past weekend I spent all day Saturday at a tennis tournament with my daughter, Sara. It was hot, sweaty and yet one of the most enjoyable days I had spent with her in a long time. Sara is a natural athlete.....she is quick, muscular and competitive. She is a student of the game....and loves sports of all kinds. She can get involved in discussions with just about ANYONE on the topics of football, baseball, and tennis. She knows who, what, when and how things are going in each sport. She is highly opinionated and passionate about her sports....OK, she is that way about almost everything in her life! Sara loves to win and hates to lose.....and yet God has had her in a training program to develop within her a level of leadership that He is calling her to far beyond her natural capabilities.

 

This weekend was an opportunity for another lesson in leadership....learning to lead herself. The lesson that calls for her to learn that we fail forward to success.....seeing the good in failure as one of life's best teachers! To put it in a nutshell, she has had better tournaments in the past.......this was not one where she played her best or even anywhere near her capabilities. In the past, however, when that happened she would lose her temper, hit herself or the ground with her racquet and self-destruct a winning game. She did none of those things this weekend. She made good choices to accept the reality of the lessons she was being offered....to remain calm in adversity, to play the best she could in the circumstances of the match, to recognize that sometimes you are just not "on" and that sometimes your opponent is having a better day than you are. I was so proud of her as we drove home and she pointed out the positive things of the day to me......lessons that she had learned in the past that were showing up in the midst of a tough test....her character came shining through and it was beautiful to behold!!

 

Tennis is an individual sport.....each person must reach down inside and learn to pull out the best of themselves in order to have a great game. To stretch yourself, you must play with those who are better than you are so that you can improve your skills and abilities. If you only play with those you can easily beat, you will never grow to your full capabilities! You MUST put yourself at risk on a regular basis in order to challenge and grow to your full potential.....in other words, you must lose so that you can win. 

 

What Sara has learned from her love of sports and her participation in tennis, has taught her lessons that will carry forward into her life as a leader. As I have watched her grow, I have contemplated the value of the lessons for my own life....recognizing that God never wastes anything....and so my time and opportunity to apply these lessons in my own life are very present in each match I watch. This weekend I walked away realizing that each risk I take...whether it succeeds or fails.....is moving me towards my dreams. Each time I step out into the arena of life and attempt to improve my skills and abilities, apply the lessons I am learning and accept each lesson as a blessing....I really am winning. I am growing into all that God has purposed for my life. I am preparing for the future that God has out in front of me.

 

Today, Sara begins another tournament. The lessons of these matches will be a continuation of all that God has been building into her life thus far. She has the choice, as we all do, to receive them as an eager learner or reject them and demand that life go her way. It is important to note that receiving them has helped her to move past them quicker and move on to the next level of her journey.......I have seen that again and again in my own life. My stubborn determination to NOT receive the lesson provided has only forced me to retake the course until I have surrendered to the reality that God is determined to grow me into the person He has called me to be......the sooner I accept the truth of what He has planned for me, the quicker I move through the lessons I must learn along this journey.

 

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run , but only one gets the prize. Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.  Therefore, I do not run like a man running aimessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize."

~ Paul in a letter to the Corinthians 9:24-27

 

Kathy Douglas

President/Owner

Extreme Dreams, LLC

8203 Schaffer Ln.

Houston, TX 77070

Office - 281-890-5034

Fax - 281-469-0267

Cell - 713-398-7304

kathyd@extreme-dreams.com

www.extreme-dreams.com

 

"Helping people enjoy the journey as much as the destination"

 

Check out my coaching journal at:

http://extreme-dreams.blogspot.com/

 

The transformation of a child to a woman

"Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart walking around outside your body."
~Elizabeth Stone

"Family faces are magic mirrors. Looking at people who belong to us, we see the past, present and future."
~Gail Lumet Buckley

 

"Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain."
~Martin Mull

 

"The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life."
~Richard Bach

 

"To understand your parents' love, you must raise children yourself."
~Chinese proverb

 

"The family is the corner stone of our society. More than any other force it shapes the attitude, the hopes, the ambitions, and the values of the child. And when the family collapses it is the children that are usually damaged. When it happens on a massive scale the community itself is crippled. So, unless we work to strengthen the family, to create conditions under which most parents will stay together, all the rest — schools, playgrounds, and public assistance, and private concern — will never be enough."
~Lyndon Baines Johnson

"He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers."

~Malachi 4:6

 

A couple of days ago I was going up the stairs to ask my daughter Sydney a question....and I heard her talking on the phone. I waited so as not to interrupt her conversation ( as I have taught my girls to do when I am on the phone! ). The most wonderful thing happened as I eavesdropped on her conversation. I have no idea what was being said on the other end of the phone, but what I heard from my 17 year old daughter filled my heart with such incredible joy!!!! She was sharing with her friend that she was organizing a group of girls to come together on a weekly basis at the local Starbucks to hold each other accountable...to share with each other the reality of their lives and help each other make the choices that will be godly choices and hold each other accountable in those choices. She told her friend that commitment was vital to attendance as well as confidentiality, and that though the friend could choose not to attend, once she committed she was to be there every week unless there was major problem that prevented her.

 

WOW..........I could NEVER have said or done anything like that when I was 17!!! My heart was about to burst as I stood outside her door listening to my usually reserved, quiet young daughter lead with such conviction, strength, honesty, confidence and elegance a peer who by the end of the conversation made the commitment to attend the accountability group.

 

I went in and told Sydney that I had been listening to her conversation and how proud I was of her!!! How amazed I was of her as I listened to how well she handled the conversation and how impressed I was with her communication skills and leadership. She looked at me with an appreciation that flows from a child who recognizes that their parent has shown them deep respect and love. She then began to share with me that to her own surprise, she was stepping more and more into leadership roles and really enjoying the opportunity. She told me about how she had even stood up on their mission trip to Mexico the week before and shared her testimony in front of the crowd of people they were ministering to......AMAZING!!!!!!!!!

 

As I sat and listened to her, I realized that my sweet, little Sydney was growing into an incredible woman of God. She has always been a complete dichotomy.....she was the foofy little blond sweetheart that loved to curl up in my lap and kiss on me and be held close, who loved to play with baby dolls and Barbie dolls, who loved to play dress up, who loved music and would spend hours practicing her piano by herself....her grandfather's nickname for her was "Pris" and that she was!!!!!!!!!  She was also the one who also loved to play soccer and who we had to make STOP playing because she would get so MAD, at whoever had played goalie on her 1st grade team if they let a goal through, that she would get in their face and yell at them!!! ( This many times was her twin sister, Sara....which lead to many a rather unhappy ride home from a game! ) This prissy little girly-girl would transform into a fiery and challenging competitor once she stepped onto the soccer field! She loved soccer so much and was actually so determined to win that she asked to be the ONLY goalie for the team after watching from the sidelines as they lost every game...the coach accepted her offer and she didn't let one goal through the rest of the season......and that was the beginning of her development as a top goalkeeper.

 

Sydney has become a powerful, fierce and determined competitor on the soccer field, yelling and directing the team, challenging the forwards, taking incredible chances as she does her utmost to prevent any and every goal from getting past her as well as an accomplished pianist. The lessons she has learn on the soccer field and the piano studio coupled with the sweet nature of her personality and her own surrender of her life to Jesus, has brought forth a true leader. Her desire in life has been to be in ministry either as an athlete sharing her story as part of a ministry team or as a musician in a ministry. I used to wonder if she was going to be able to overcome her naturally reserved demeanor to open up and share her story in front of a crowd.....and now I recognize that God has been preparing her all along. Now I am watching the young woman step into the vision God has given to her in His purpose for her life.....what a journey she has ahead of her.....what a privilege it is to be allowed to come alongside her in that journey!

 

" I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the Truth"

~ 3 John 6

 

Kathy Douglas

President/Owner

Extreme Dreams, LLC

8203 Schaffer Ln.

Houston, TX 77070

Office - 281-890-5034

Fax - 281-469-0267

Cell - 713-398-7304

kathyd@extreme-dreams.com

www.extreme-dreams.com

 

"Helping people enjoy the journey as much as the destination"

 

Check out my coaching journal at:

http://extreme-dreams.blogspot.com/

 

A Full Life

"Life is empty when I am trapped in my own way of responding to what is right, what is wrong and what is next."

~ John Wayland

 

"The significant problems we face cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them."
~Albert Einstein

"It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves."
~Helen Keller

 

"It is not how much you do, but how much Love you put into the doing that matters."

~Mother Teresa

 

I have these two cats living with me. They belong to my daughter Amy....and when she came home to live, they came with her. Now it is important to understand this distinction......I am a "dog" person. We are a "dog" family. I have actually NEVER lived with cats cause I really don't LIKE CATS! I even get all stopped up and sneezy around them....and I am rather aware of a mild allergy to them. But here I am.....living with these cats. AND the craziest part of it all is that THEY have decided that they LIKE ME!!!! WHICH means that they have taken up residence in my office and sleep most of the day there, rub up against me constantly and follow me around meowing ALL THE TIME!!!

 

What occurred to me today as I was watching them settle into their spots in my office is that they REALLY DO NOT CARE if I like them or not!!!!!!!!! .......they have decided to LIKE ME and that is that for them!!!!! Actually, I do NOT understand that! As it has become clear to me that changing their minds is going to be quite impossible.....I have realized that accepting them as a fixture in my life will certainly give me a new appreciation for them as God's creatures and my office mates!

 

I look at how God has arranged for me to learn to love that which HE loves....and He loves these cats.....and how this training program He has arranged for me is affecting my perspective on things that I naturally have an aversion to....like these cats! What I am seeing is that I can change.....I have the special God-given gift of Choice.....and by making a different choice than is natural to me, I open myself up to all kinds of new and exciting opportunities to grow and experience joy. It is only when I refuse to change.....and insist on my own way of responding....that I find myself stuck in my emptiness and despair. Flexibility and curiosity can open up new horizons that God has in store for me, allow me to think beyond my own narrow-minded perspective and look at how I can love and enjoy others around me.....even these cats!!!!!!!

 

As I look at them curled up in their chosen spots in my office......I can't believe I am gonna say this......but they are very sweet cats; cats that have pleasant personalities ( although the male cat is such a WHINER!!!!), cats that have fun together, and make my daughter's life full. Then I realize that the fact that they make such a positive difference in Amy's life, and fill her with such joy means that they also fill my life with joy. I have such a full life, full of friends, family, excitement, opportunity and God. Keeping it full requires that I pay close attention to all the special gifts that God has placed in my life....and enjoy each of them throughout this journey!

 

Kathy Douglas

President/Owner

Extreme Dreams, LLC

8203 Schaffer Ln.

Houston, TX 77070

Office - 281-890-5034

Fax - 281-469-0267

Cell - 713-398-7304

kathyd@extreme-dreams.com

www.extreme-dreams.com

 

"Helping people enjoy the journey as much as the destination"

 

Check out my coaching journal at:

http://extreme-dreams.blogspot.com/

 

Responding to Life

"The actions of men are the best interpretation of their thoughts."

~John Locke

 

"No pleasure is comparable to the standing upon the vantage ground of truth."

~Francis Bacon

 

"The best way to show that a stick is crooked is not to argue about it, but to lay a straight stick alongside it."

~D.L. Moody

 

"People who are inwardly attending to the highest truth they know and who are prepared to let this truth have undivided sway in their lives.....are not afraid of consequences because they are such avid lovers of the truth they have found."

~Douglas Steere

 

"Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom."
~Victor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

 

"If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we are not really living. Growth demands a temporary surrender of security."
~Gail Sheehy

 

"The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude...I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it."
~Charles Swindoll

 

"So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."

~Morrie Schwartz, in "Tuesdays with Morrie" by Mitch Albom

 

"In organizations, real power and energy is generated through relationships. The patterns of relationships and the capacities to form them are more important than tasks, functions, roles, and positions."

~Margaret Wheatley

 

"Vision is not enough. It must be combined with venture. It is not enough to stare up the steps, we must step up the stairs."

~Vaclav Havel

 

Years ago, like in the mid-70's........I heard a speaker who said

 

" There are only 2 things that last for eternity, People and the Word of God."

 

....that statement rocked my world and changed my whole perspective on life. That day I made a decision...whether conscience or not....to make these the 2 things into which I would invested my life. I have been rewarded by both beyond measure. My life is filled with people that I love and who love me, and my relationship with God has grown and continues to grow as I get to know Him.

 

As I have moved from a world filled with women and cosmetics, to a world of men and women and a whole lot of music, I have found that both are at the deepest level really the same. People are people, they respond and react to their lives in patterns that reveal their motivations, their personalities and their hearts. Paying close attention to each one as an individual allows me to begin to hear their heartbeat....and therefore respond to their needs in ways that are far more effective than my "natural" desire to demand that they listen to me! :)  I made a decision years ago...once I understood that I could MAKE the choice myself, that I would be less "natural" and rather choose to surrender to the "supernatural" me,  to control my own desires and needs so that I could better meet the needs of those around me and in doing so impact their lives in some small way. I learned that I could live my life with flexibility or I could live in frustration. I choose flexibility....it is a LOT MORE FUN!!!!!

 

If you are at all aware of the DISC model of behavior, you will have recognized that I am a D/I personality......if you have ever read anything about Hippocrates and his theories on behavior and personalities you know that he surmised back in 400 B.C. that there were 4 temperaments...which he called Choleric, Sanguine, Phlegmatic and Melancholy. The DISC model just changes the names due to the scientific discover that color of our bodly fluids is not the cause of our personalities!!  

 

People like me are constantly on the look out for ways to impact, influence and entertain.....while at the same time working on huge challenges that require leadership, managing people and achieving big dreams. We like BIG crowds, BIG risks and the incredible opportunities to impact and influence those big crowds!!!!!! We love to have LOADS of friends and we are happiest when we are the center of all of their attention!!!! :) Hmmmmm....no wonder I am where I am...doing what I am doing! My biggest challenge is to REMAIN there rather than go and find NEW and DIFFERENT and more exciting challenges that will push me to my utmost limits.

 

As I have matured, my "boredom" quotient has been balanced out with my recognition that stability, caution and security are actually good things. I also have learned that the other D/I personalities, that seems to always surround me, have the same needs and desires and my response must be to recognize that and not compete with it! :) When I can accept and know myself, I can be flexible and choose to set aside my own needs and desires for the benefit of others, recognizing that I really do have ALL THAT I NEED and DESIRE in my relationship with God. Do I do it perfectly or even very well???? ABSOLUTELY NOT......but I do know to do it.....and at any given moment I can make that choice to walk in it......to pay attention to the only one over whom I have the real control over....ME....and respond to others in a way that lets them feel the love I have for them.

 

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."

~Jesus in John 15:13

 

Kathy Douglas

President/Owner

Extreme Dreams, LLC

8203 Schaffer Ln.

Houston, TX 77070

Office - 281-890-5034

Fax - 281-469-0267

Cell - 713-398-7304

kathyd@extreme-dreams.com

www.extreme-dreams.com

 

"Helping people enjoy the journey as much as the destination"

 

Check out my coaching journal at:

http://extreme-dreams.blogspot.com/

 

Faith on the Journey

"Faith is the daring of the soul to go farther than it can see."

~William Newton Clark

 

"Faith is to believe what we do not see; and the reward of this faith is to see what we believe."

~Augustine

 

"God makes a promise - faith believes it, hope anticipates it, patience quietly awaits it."

~Anonymous

 

"Somehow I can't believe that there are any heights that can't be scaled by a man who knows the secrets of making dreams come true. This special secret - curiosity, confidence, courage, and constancy, and the greatest of all is confidence. When you believe in a thing, believe in it all the way, implicitly and unquestionable."

~ Walt Disney

 

Today a man is stepping out in faith to follow his dream. I met him about 6 years ago.....and he had a dream that made him sparkle and shine from within. Over these past several years, that dream has gotten beaten up, laid aside, held in trust, and yet through it all he has held on with the strength that only comes with faith.

 

Six years ago, I was one of the top Mary Kay sales directors, on my way to a dream I had dreamed for years....National Sales Director. I drove up in my Pink Cadillac to the Mason Jar with a friend to meet this guy.....I had worked for 20 years with women....I did NOT meet strange men for lunch!!!!!!! :) I had only talked to Kyle on the phone and through a couple of emails, but the vision he had for his music career intrigued me. I remember telling my friend,  "We are gonna act like we are really not that interested, I do not know much about him and this is just a meeting to see who he is." .............WHAT A LAUGH!!!!! He no sooner sat down and introduced himself, and..... BAM.....we were sold. Anyone who has met Kyle before knows what I am talking about.....his heart comes right through in the smile and honest caring spirit that flows from his whole being.

 

The past six years have been the ongoing pursuit of the dream that he shared with me that day. I bought into it hook, line and sinker. I believed in his dream, in his talent and in his gift....I still do. I must say though that I have fought it many times...dreams that are this big are in themselves challenging and difficult....they require more than you can give on your own, they require a belief and faith and power that is way out beyond your own capabilities. Kyle took the next six months after that meeting to convince me that I was the person God had called to come alongside him and believe with him that this dream would come to fruition.

 

He probably didn't realize it at the time, but I fought it because I knew what it would mean once I made the choice. I knew that it was a crossroads in my life and time when I was standing at a place where God left the decision up to me......to choose which way I would go. Would I choose a NEW adventure that was fraught with danger and heartache; challenges that would bring me to my knees and held few rewards; fears that would grip my very soul and leave me feeling lost and alone???? OR would I pass....and stay on the road that was so clear and obvious....the road that I had traveled so long and was so rewarding in my life. It took months of prayer and seeking to KNOW what God wanted for my life, to finally surrender to the gift that God was offering. I knew myself enough to know that once I made that turn, I would choose to go all the way......I don't know how to turn back.....and I have to give it everything that is in me.

 

To be honest, there have been days that I have wished that I had chosen differently......made the easy choice.....and then I look at the posters on my wall in my office, and the CD's that have been produced and the emails that I have received and the entries that have been made in my journals.......and I realize that the choice had been made from eternity past.....I would make this choice, God knew and planned for it. The 20 years prior to the choice were simply the training ground for the Extreme Dreams that God would use my life to help bring into this world. I look at this and realize how much I am totally INCAPABLE of being a part of this plan. AND then God reminds me that it is NOT MY PLAN.....and so I am NOT responsible for "making it happen"......I simply get to enjoy this awesome ride.

 

I have said again and again....and I will say it here this day......in all the world, I would have never wanted to have missed knowing Kyle....he is a special man, a dear friend that I love like my own brother........today is a special day for him on his journey to his dream. Today, Kyle goes in to begin recording a song that will be part of his 3rd album. His dream that he has been dreaming for all these years is coming true....and I can't WAIT to see how God will use this precious man in the lives of those he comes in contact with as he enjoys this journey!!!!!!

 

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven....He has made everything beautiful in its time."

~ Ecclesiastes 3:1, 11

 

Kathy Douglas

President/Owner

Extreme Dreams, LLC

8203 Schaffer Ln.

Houston, TX 77070

Office - 281-890-5034

Fax - 281-469-0267

Cell - 713-398-7304

kathyd@extreme-dreams.com

www.extreme-dreams.com

 

"Helping people enjoy the journey as much as the destination"

 

Check out my coaching journal at:

http://extreme-dreams.blogspot.com/

 

A Tribute to my Daddy

"It is always possible to be thankful for what is given rather than to complain about what is not given. One or the other becomes a habit of life."

~ Elizabeth Elliot

 

"Solitude in not loneliness, but refreshing aloneness. More than a special time or place, it is an attiftude of the heart. In our times alone, God invites us to come away and enjoy His quiet company. He wants to calm us, affirm His love to us, and restore our faith."

~ Roy Lennin

 

"It is a wise father that knows his own child."
~William Shakespeare

 

"It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons."

~Johann Schiller

 

"One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters."
~George Herbert

 

"There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself."
~John Gregory Brown

 

Tomorrow is Father's Day.....a day for me to honor my Daddy.......and yes, I still call him that!!!! Scott Frank Wylie.....he has been my hero since the first day I can ever remember!!! I always thought he was the coolest guy around and I wanted to be JUST like him! He could do ANYTHING.....nothing was too hard for him to do.....and I was quite sure that no one was smarter than him! I am sure he will tell you that I just about drove him crazy with the zillions of constant questions I had, asking him everything that came to my mind....who, what, when, where, how.......and if he had a clue, he would gladly and patiently answer my questions....but if he didn't he would say,"Kathy, I don't know!!!!" ......it always surprised me because I truly believed he KNEW EVERYTHING!!!!! 

 

My Daddy is a quiet man of solitude...he gets up when the sun comes up....LITERALLY!!! When we lived in Germany, the sun came up in the summertime VERY early and he was up. I remember when we lived in El Paso, I was in 3rd grade, and I would wake up early and follow him around the yard as he watered the plants and piddled with the fruit trees. He loves to take care of things....gardening and fixing things that are broken......it always felt so good to just "hang out" around him. Then there was Miami, where we lived on a canal and he would get up early before anyone else and sit by the canal and fish, throw bread to the ducks and enjoy the quiet mornings.

 

My Daddy is a man who is thankful for all that he has....and he doesn't require much. I really cannot remember him ever complaining about something that he doesn't have. He is not much into the "trappings" of life...clothes, cars, etc......I remember back in in El Paso riding around in his old beat up sort-of-green???? Ford Pick-up listening to country music and he would let me sit in his lap and help him drive. When we got older and could not do that anymore, he let our little dachsund sit in his lap and hang her head out the window! ( Of course all of this was before we knew anything about seatbelts!!) For years he had a yellow Mercedes that he had turned into a truck for his "Mr Fix-it" business.....my daughters called it the "Bruised Banana" cause he had replaced one of the doors with a black door. It was filled with screws and nails, hammers and tools.....but in a moments notice he would head over to pick them up from school or an activity when I was detained or stuck in traffic.

 

His wardrobe has been quite varied through the years....he gets onto a "look" and sticks with it as long as possible. I remember YEARS that it seemed that he wore the same outfit ....and I MEAN the same outfit.....everyday! Let's see.....when I was in High School, he wore a white short sleeve shirt and black slacks.....they were VERY baggy, he liked them that way cause his feet get cold and he puts his shoes on first and wants the pants to be able to go OVER the shoes!! THEN there was the years when he wore the all-in-one Jumpsuit....he liked the rusty brown color the best. He smoked back then and usually the pocket was slightly torn and hanging down loose from reaching in and getting the package of cigarettes....and for some strange reason they seemed always to be a bit too short for him. Then there is the continual favorite of the bermuda shorts and black argil socks and dress shoes, with the option of a short sleeved nylon dress shirt( usually with paint on it or torn or some indication that it has been around for AGES) or NO SHIRT at all.  

 

My Daddy loves to watch Sports of ANY KIND......we used to laugh and joke that if nothing else was on, he would watch tiddlie-winks.....he and my brother have spent hours in front of the TV together, yelling and commenting on how the players, officials and others should and should not behave, play, live, and breathe.....watching sports was and is still a PARTICIPATION activity in my Daddy's life. He expends as much energy in his WATCHING as anyone on the field!

 

When I went to college, my Daddy gave me a gift that I will never forget.....he drove me there and back.....several times. We lived in El Paso and I went to school in Austin at The University of Texas. Back in the early 70's it was a 9 hour drive each way on two lane roads....the scenery was breath-taking, and to this day I have never seen so many stars as we did driving through the desert. We would stop along the way and look out from the top of a mesa out over the landscape.....it was a precious time to me. My Daddy would tell me stories of his life and once again answer my constant questions.....or sometimes we would just sit in the quiet and be together. I learned on those trips things that helped me understand my Daddy.....that helped me understand myself. Things that gave me a security and stability that has remained with me through the difficult and challenging times of my life. My Daddy taught me on those trips who God is.....he was God's visual aid to me of Himself.

 

One of the greatest lessons I ever learned from my Daddy was that if you could get along with yourself, you could get along with just about anybody. And that you might as well learn to like yourself, cause you are gonna have to hang around with yourself, cause you are with you everywhere you go!!!

 

When it came time to marry a man who I would live with the rest of my life, I found one who reminded me of the best parts of my Daddy. Jack is a wonderful father who loves his daughters with all his heart, soul, mind and spirit. He is unique in himself as much as my Daddy is unique in himself. Both have great hearts, both are strong and steady, both are men of quiet solitude and great faith. And both have loved their daughters and me unconditionally. I love you BOTH for being who you are!

 

"Love..... is slow to lose patience - it looks for a way of being constructive. It is not possessive; it is neither anxious to impress nor does it cherish inflated ideas of its own importance....Love knows no limit to it's endurance, no end to its trust, no fading of its hope; it can outlast anything. Love never fails."

~I Corinthians 13:4,7-8 from the Phillips version

 

Kathy Douglas

President/Owner

Extreme Dreams, LLC

8203 Schaffer Ln.

Houston, TX 77070

Office - 281-890-5034

Fax - 281-469-0267

Cell - 713-398-7304

kathyd@extreme-dreams.com

www.extreme-dreams.com

 

"Helping people enjoy the journey as much as the destination"

 

Check out my coaching journal at:

http://extreme-dreams.blogspot.com/

 

Your Value is immeasurable

"You have value simply because you are. You don't have to look nice or perform well. Your value is inborn. Period."

~Max Lucado

 

"Remember that you are needed. There is at least one important work to be done that will not be done unless you do it."

~ Charles Allen

 

"There is a ...desire in every human being to do something of worth that will have lasting significance. There is a longing...to do something that will make life better for others."

~Tony Campolo

 

Why do we do what we do?????? Why have I spent the last two days working on things that I am not really very good at.....website stuff.........and not doing things that I would really RATHER do???? I had to ask myself this....as I really don't get excited about sitting at a computer trying to improve on the traffic that my website and those of the artists I represent.

 

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a "multi-tasker" and a "people person"....so as I was working on this "unfun" thing, I was listening to some education cd's.....and the speaker was talking about loving one another and how that comes out in our attitudes and actions. As I asked myself  AGAIN whether in the end ANY of this would really matter.......I began to realize is that though I do not need to do anything to feel good about my life ( I have a WONDERFUL life!!!!!! ) .....I want to make a difference in this world that will out live me!

 

I have an Extreme Dream of my own.....one that reaches far out beyond myself and my family. I want to inspire and influence the world around me........I want to encourage and strengthen those who are challenged and struggling.....weary and afraid......just about to give up and quit. The best way I can do that is to love my artists, love them enough to do things I really don't get excited about doing, so that their music can reach out to the world and touch lives....so that they can be a light in this dark and lonely world. 

 

I am a dreamer.....and I don't know how to give up....why? Because I am so motivated by the challenge of getting through to the other side. It is part of why I have spent these two days working on this website stuff.....so that I can get to the other side of all of it and people can find the music and read the lyrics and hear the songs of these incredible artists that God has blessed me with the privilege of representing. I have this dream that the world will come to know and love each of them and their music as much as I do. They are each unique and wonderful people, talented and gifted artists who are bringing into this world powerful messages of love, hope, encouragement, and faith. I love each of them so much and their value to this world is beyond measure. Each of them are making a lasting and significant impact on the world around them....and through them I am allowed to have some small share in that impact.

 

So I was reminded today that though what I have been working on is not what I would call "FUN" ( can you tell I am also motivated by fun :) ???? ).....it is one of those things that I am needed for in the bigger scheme of God's plan to accomplish His Extreme Dream......and in the accomplishment of my own extreme dream. AND it expresses to each of these wonderful artists my great love and appreciation for each of them.

 

"You will find that as you look back upon your life, that the moments when you have really lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love."

~ Henry Drummond

 

Kathy Douglas

President/Owner

Extreme Dreams, LLC

8203 Schaffer Ln.

Houston, TX 77070

Office - 281-890-5034

Fax - 281-469-0267

Cell - 713-398-7304

kathyd@extreme-dreams.com

www.extreme-dreams.com

 

"Helping people enjoy the journey as much as the destination"

 

Check out my coaching journal at:

http://extreme-dreams.blogspot.com/

 

Getting what you deserve

"To be able to get up in the morning with a purpose in your day, to go to bed at night with a clear conscience, to reach out to others in a caring way, to express a kindness or meet a need, to be content with what you have, to have no regrets for how you acted, to speak in ways that do not injure, to look in your heart and find love, this is a life that wins."

~Ron Lennin

 

"You have within you right now, everything you need to deal with whatever the world can throw at you."

- Brian Tracy

"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work."                            - Thomas Edison

"The secret of success in life is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it comes."                                   - Benjamin Disraeli

"Opportunity is like a gold mine... if you don't pick up the shovel, then you will be living in someone else's shaft."
- Doug Firebaugh

I have sat and watched myself do it a thousand times......sabotage my own success!!!! I would be RIGHT THERE....on the verge of everything I wanted and believed God had for me.....and I would MAKE SURE I would not get it!!!!! Sad, huh??? The crazy thing is that we all do it......we each have sabotage strategies that we pull out of our bag of tricks and we use them whenever we get past our "comfort zone" into the uncharted waters of greater success than we have ever seen or experienced in our own lives.

Here are a couple of scenarios that come to my mind:

• We give it away to someone else......this is one of my favorites, I justify that it makes me feel good about myself cause I am so giving and humble......it usually ends up with me feeling that I missed out on something I really worked hard for, and therefore didn't deserve it.
• We procrastinate until the opportunity for success disappears ......the reality is that decisions have to be made, actions must be taken, TRUE opportunities are rare events, and NOT making a decision IS making a decision.
• We make a mountain out of a mole hill........we pick an issue, and take a stand that is not worth taking a stand on!!!!!  We must learn to pick our battles carefully....making sure they are the REAL issues! Jesus called it "Straining out a gnat and swallowing a camel!!"

I am sure you have several that you could add to the list......I have heard that there are over 101 ways that we do this.....I think that we come up with new ones EVERYDAY!!!!! :)

 

All of this boils down to what we feel we deserve in this life. The reality is that in the USA we have more opportunity than in any other country that has ever been before us. We have a freedom that is unrivaled in the world to BE who we feel called to be and have a great life BEING that person!! For most of us, survival is not our first and foremost issue of the day. We can go to our refrig, pantry and cabinets to get sustenance for the day. Most of us wake up in warm beds and cooled homes....we are entertained by TV, DVD's and our favorite music. We can communicate within moments with our friends, family and loved ones. We can get to just about anywhere we want to go within a day. If we are sick, there is help close by to help us to get well. And I could go on and on.......... We are blessed beyond belief!!!!!!

 

I have pondered on the issue of why, when we have so much, do we feel we don't deserve the life we long for...and I am not really talking about the "material" trappings, but rather the "life" that we want.......and though I certainly do not have the answers....I have an opinion!!!!! I think that it comes down to fear.....fear that I could lose it if I get too much, fear that I did not deserve to get it in the first place and so it will be taken away, fear that others will think badly of me for having more than I need, fear that even if I get it, it won't be enough anyway........and so on.

 

Some years ago I began to learn that this fear was another way that I stayed in control of my life. I had to finally give up the idea that I knew what was best for me!!!! AND surrender to the truth that God had a plan and it was to prosper me and to give me a good hope! AND HOW THAT LOOKED was HIS business NOT mine! If He wanted it to look highly successful in the world's eyes, then that was HIS BUSINESS.......if He wanted it to look modest and yet filled with joy then that was HIS business! AND if He wanted it to look like a struggle to survive, well that was HIS business also!!! My end of the deal was to simply obey His leading and give Him my all.

 

"For I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength."

Paul in a letter to the Philippians 4:11-13

 

 

Kathy Douglas

President/Owner

Extreme Dreams, LLC

8203 Schaffer Ln.

Houston, TX 77070

Office - 281-890-5034

Fax - 281-469-0267

Cell - 713-398-7304

kathyd@extreme-dreams.com

www.extreme-dreams.com

 

"Helping people enjoy the journey as much as the destination"

 

Check out my coaching journal at:

http://extreme-dreams.blogspot.com/

 

No Daring is Fatal

"Inner Strength is vital to living out the values and beliefs we hold. It is the commitment to keep walking toward a goal when the detour seems so tempting. When inner strength is empowered by faith, it moves us from knowing what is important to living what is important.....from looking at the heights to climbing the heights."

~Roy Lennin

 

They say that if something doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger!!! On Sunday evening, my husband, Jack and I went to listen to one of the great Texas Singer-songwriters, Owen Temple ( www.owentemple.com ), at a house concert. The intimate setting provided the opportunity to listen to the stories that inspired the music and lyrics. I love these kinds of settings. It provides a unique chance to connect with the songwriter in a way that gives me new appreciation for both their music and their talent. It provides an inside look at a person who has the inner strength and the resolve to step out towards their dreams, to climb the mountains of their vision and impact the world around them with the song in their heart.

 

Owen has a talent for taking phrases and thoughts that we all have either heard or that are expounded on in books and literature. He was asked to share where the idea for one of his hit songs "No Daring is Fatal" came from.....and he answered that he had read this phrase in a book by a French Philosopher and it reminded him of the challenges that he and his wife were experiencing in their first two years of marriage.....and the risk that he was taking in leaving the corporate world of investment banking to pursue his passion as a singer-songwriter.  It occurred to him that no daring would be fatal in life and in love....NONE of it would kill him, it could only make him stronger.....so as he wrote the song and stepped out in complete love for his wife and at the same time followed his own dreams, their relationship began to grow stronger.

 

Time passes faster than we realize....and with each day we are either building a habit or building a character...we are either strengthening our faith and resolve or we are digging a hole that will entrap us in excuses and justifications. Then one day we will look up and see that our lives have passed us by.

 

I was watching the news once and heard a 100 year old man being interviewed. The reporter asked him the question...."If you could live your life over again, what would you do differently?" The old man spoke with such a deep sense of regret that I never forgot his wise advise, "I would have made more mistakes!"

 

“The value of life is not in the length of days, but in the use we make of them; a man may live long yet very little.” 
— Michel de Montaigne, French essayist (1533-1592)

 

“The question for each man to settle is not what he would do if he had the means, time, influence and educational advantages, but what he will do with the things he has.” 
— Hamilton Wright Mabee

 

Kathy Douglas

President/Owner

Extreme Dreams, LLC

8203 Schaffer Ln.

Houston, TX 77070

Office - 281-890-5034

Fax - 281-469-0267

Cell - 713-398-7304

kathyd@extreme-dreams.com

www.extreme-dreams.com

 

"Helping people enjoy the journey as much as the destination"

 

Check out my coaching journal at:

http://extreme-dreams.blogspot.com/

 

The Integrated Life

"Integrity is living out our values in everyday circumstances, giving our word and keeping it, knowing what's right and doing it. With conviction that cannot be compromised. Integrity stands the test of time, builds character and brings honor."
~Roy Lennin

Some years ago when I was very quickly rising high in my Mary Kay career, I had a choice to make..... to turn a "blind eye" at a consultant's actions that would eventually promote her to directorship.....and move me closer to my own goals......OR to be who I said I was, a leader who lead with honesty and integrity. My goals were so large and so grand and they were flowing like a river RIGHT to the completion of my dreams. Adding this director would make me look REALLY good and would set me right on track to be one of the top Directors in the company and one of the highest paid women in the USA. I rationalized, justified and excused my own choices rather than accepting the responsibility to confront her and take a stand for what was right for both her and her team....in the end, I did not love her enough to take that risk. So I did what seemed the "only thing I could do" and I pretended that it really didn't matter what she did cause we would correct the issue once she was promoted to Director.

I paid a high price for that choice. I sold my integrity for something that did not last and in fact, sabotaged my entire business. Her business struggled from that point on....she was never able to recover from the choices that were made. The saddest part of it all was that I knew better, I knew that starting from behind would never give her the potential for success that was needed to achieve her goals. The dominoes began to fall, other consultants felt that this was the way to get there quick...the tide began to erode the foundation of all I had built........and no matter how hard I tried to gain my integrity back.....it became clear that it could not be bought back....it had to be earned. I lost the leadership challenge and within a year was in a depression and struggling to hang on.

God used that event in my life to wake me up to the truth of His Character and His call on my life to live an Integrated Life......where He calls the shots, He is fully involved in every aspect of my life and obedience is better than sacrifice or "making amends for the sin" . Who knows what God could have or would have done in my Mary Kay career had I obeyed Him first......Trusted His Truth rather than take the easy way.

Five years later, I was given another chance to see what a business can do if entrusted to God's plan of Integrity. I had lost just about everything and yet my faith had become stronger than ever. During that time God spoke to me and said

"I don't want to control your life, I want to BE your life!"

I realized in that moment I had been fighting all those years for who was going to be in control of my life......and control was not even the issue. I learned that all that REALLY mattered was my relationship with Him and that I know Him better. I had begun to learn to trust God even though, financially, times were challenging...I was becoming content with what I had....enjoying my life and my children!

THEN it started happening again.....my unit began to grow...my business began to expand and yet this time, there was a flow to it that seemed effortless. Quickly we were increasing and rising as a unit to the top of the company once more......and all in the full integrity of honesty and truth. That year I was named the Top All Around Director.....and received a beautiful Diamond Ring for my own personal sales. My consultants were also earning fabulous diamond rings, cars and recognition. It was AMAZING and one of the most exciting times of my life.

A year ago, God once again put on my heart the call to an Integrated Life, but this time it was to begin teaching and training others on the reality of what an integrated life looks like........a life lived with honesty and authenticity, loving God FIRST and then loving others as I love myself. My dear friend, Debbie Wayland and I went for a weekend up to the hill country in Texas, to her parents ranch....and we wrote and worked on a study that we presented to a group of close to 40 women over the summer. As I always seem to find, I am the one who learned the most. The impact has been far reaching and is continuing to ripple out from that point.

"Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you feel like it or not. It is the first lesson that ought to be learned, and however early a man's training begins, it is probably the last lesson that he learns thoroughly."
~Thomas Huxley

" Put God first, your family second, and your career third; in that order everything works, out of that order, nothing works."
~Mary Kay Ash

"Love the Lord God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence and energy."
~ Jesus in Mark 12:30 from The Message

Kathy Douglas

President/Owner

Extreme Dreams, LLC

8203 Schaffer Ln.

Houston, TX 77070

Office - 281-890-5034

Fax - 281-469-0267

Cell - 713-398-7304

kathyd@extreme-dreams.com

http://www.extreme-dreams.com/

"Helping people enjoy the journey as much as the destination"

Check out my coaching journal at:

http://extreme-dreams.blogspot.com/

Loving others as they need to be loved...

"What makes us human is not our mind but our heart, not our ability to think but our ability to love."

~ Henri J. M. Nouwen

 

"I had found a kind of serenity, a new maturity... I didn't feel better or stronger than anyone else but it seemed no longer important whether everyone loved me or not - more important now was for me to love them. Feeling that way turns your whole life around; living becomes the act of giving."
- Beverly Sills

 

"For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks; the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation."
- Rainer Maria Rilke

 

How do you love someone???? I used to think that the answer was to "love your neighbor the way you want to be loved"....a turn on the "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" thing. It seemed to me that I was doing that...but in my mind no one was doing that to me....therefore, NO ONE LOVED ME! I was so pitiful in my self-pity!!!!

 

Some years ago, a friend shared a tape with me that pointed out that people have differences.....that they had different personalities and different upbring and therefore different "love receivers". What felt like love to one person, did NOT feel like love to another. HOW CONFUSING! It turns out that not everyone feels loved in the same way I do!!! So the most loving thing I can do is....... to love them as I would want to be loved, if I were THEM!

 

Me, being  who I am, jumped on that immediately and began to devour every book, attend every seminar, listen to every tape and learn all I could to understand these differences. I could not WAIT to get to the bottom of this issue! It has been challenging and fun to learn what makes us tick....and how to understand our makeup and how we feel and percieve what is happening around us and to us. I have learned so much through the years about myself, my husband, my parents and siblings, my children and my friends. I begun to find out why I felt so "unloved" and why others felt that I was "unloving"!! Keeping track of it all is challenging....we all fall into the holes of our emotional baggage and early training. Unlearning false perspections can be a chore that will take a lifetime of recognizing and reprogramming old "tapes" that run through our brains.

 

Today I was listening to a set of cd's ( times have changed and now these things come as cd's! ).....and it reminded me of this prinicple. I realized how easily I forget "what I already know".  The truth is that when I am truly loving I have no fear or anxiety in my relationship with another person.....perfect Love casts out fear......any fear that is there is due to my own lack of love for that person or anxiety over my own judgment of that person. When I judge someone, I am not being loving. When I am not being loving, I am afraid of being around them because they remind me how unloving and judgmental I am towards them......so I spend a lot of energy and effort to avoid them and make up in my own mind all the reasons that this is a good idea. I must recognize and own my own "stuff" and release it...chose to love that person the way I would want to be loved if I were them.....and allow God to work in the relationship.

 

When I demand that people feel loved by my own standard of how "feeling loved" should be.....and they have to "like it or lump it" ....then I am at that moment, unloving. When I love them enough to LEARN how they really feel loved and love them that way....I am laying down my life for them and truly loving them completely. MAN, I can NOT do that on my own!!!! Try as I may, I mess up CONSTANTLY!!!!!!! I desparately need God's love to flow through me. I desparately need God's power to overcome my self-centered perspective that demands that the people around me do things the way I want them done without respect for their needs and desires. Thank God, I have the opportunity and privilege of surrendering to God and trusting Him to change my selfish heart and make me more like Him!!!!

 

"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."

Jesus in John 15:12-13

 

Kathy Douglas

President/Owner

Extreme Dreams, LLC

8203 Schaffer Ln.

Houston, TX 77070

Office - 281-890-5034

Fax - 281-469-0267

Cell - 713-398-7304

kathyd@extreme-dreams.com

www.extreme-dreams.com

 

"Helping people enjoy the journey as much as the destination"

 

Check out my coaching journal at:

http://extreme-dreams.blogspot.com/

 

Goals written in SAND not in Stone..

Excellence can be attained if you - care more than others think is wise - risk more than others think is safe - dream more than others think is practical - and expect more than others think is possible. - Unknown

 

A plaque with this quote was given to me many years ago......and it hangs in the downstairs guest bathroom. Being that this is the most "visited" place in our home, it seemed a fitting place to place a challenging statement for all to ponder! :)

 

This statement constantly challenges me to remember that the goals that are set and written out to accomplish a vision's mission and purpose MUST be written in sand....flexible and adaptable to the risks and dreams of the impossibleness of a great vision. Circumstances are constantly in flux. If we insist on security at any cost, we can become embroiled in the mire and muck of rigidity and conflict that prevents the kind of life we truly desire. Attempts to control the uncontrollable create only chaos and fear.

 

Excellence is a growing and living part of our being. Surrender to the process of excellence rather than perfectionism allows God's power to flow in and through our very being. His Dreams are truly EXTREME and require a level of faith that to many may look impractical....a faith that He can and will do the impossible to accomplish His purposes. Surrendering to His daily direction, rather than demanding that Life obey our small plans, brings forth joy as we allow Him to write in the sand of our lives. As we surrender to His Vision for our lives, allowing Him to implant His Dreams in our hearts and accepting the Truth that we can not set big enough goals at any given moment, He can take our lives to greater heights than we could have ever imagined.

 

Many times the fear that God's plan may not be big enough, financially profitable enough, or just plain may not include enough fun in my life to stand up to my vision of how I want my life to look; keeps me from surrendering the goals that I have laid out in my own mind to His loving and all - knowing plan for my life. I don't mind sharing that it is SCARY!!! The "What if's" can take over and trap me in the hole of fear, despair and loneliness. OR I can become fatalistic and not set any goals or plans, thinking that it is useless to decide anything because He will change it all and I will be forced to scrape everything.....what a waste of time!!!!! Then I am reminded that "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps" ( Proverbs 16:9 ). It is a partnership, God is the Senior Partner and I am the Junior Partner.....His plan is to work together, I am an integral and essential part of His plan for eternity. He created me with a certain personality, gifts and talents, experiences and wounds.....all so that He could work THROUGH those aspects of who I am to accomplish what can only be perfectly accomplished THROUGH me.

 

Excellence requires that we listen to our heart's desire, lean into God's Mighty Hand and completely risk jumping "off the cliff" and allowing Him to carry us on the Wings of His Dream for our lives. And who could really dream any bigger OR better than God? As I look around at the amazing Creation that He has made, He reminds me that He wants to do the same in my life!

 

For this to happen we must first give up our small plans, write our goals in sand not in stone, and allow God to be God.

 

"The best goal in Life is God - He can be reached by prayer, known by faith, expressed through love, and enjoyed forever."

~ Roy Lessin

 

"Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in; aim at earth and you get neither."

~ C.S.Lewis

 

"Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God is calling us up to heaven"

Paul in a letter to the Philippians 3:13-14

 

Kathy Douglas

President/Owner

Extreme Dreams, LLC

8203 Schaffer Ln.

Houston, TX 77070

Office - 281-890-5034

Fax - 281-469-0267

Cell - 713-398-7304

kathyd@extreme-dreams.com

www.extreme-dreams.com

 

"Helping people enjoy the journey as much as the destination"

 

Check out my coaching journal at:

http://www.extreme-dreams.com/blog/

 

Harnessing Desire and the Commitment to see it through

Desire is the key to motivation, but it's determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal -- a commitment to excellence -- that will enable you to attain the success you seek. - Mario Andretti

Commitment turns a promise into reality with words that speak boldly of your intentions and actions that speak louder than words. - Steve Brunkhorst 

Something in human nature causes us to start slacking off at our moment of greatest accomplishment. As you become successful, you will need a great deal of self-discipline not to lose your sense of balance, humility, and commitment.
- H. Ross Perot

There is no scarcity of opportunity to make a living at what you love; there's only a scarcity of resolve to make it happen.
- Dr. Wayne Dyer

I believe life is constantly testing us for our level of commitment, and life's greatest rewards are reserved for those who demonstrate a never-ending commitment to act until they achieve. This level of resolve can move mountains, but it must be constant and consistent. As simplistic as this may sound, it is still the common denominator separating those who live their dreams from those who live in regret. - Tony Robbins

We live in a country and a time when the opportunities are endless! People come from all over the world seeking the freedom to become all that God has created them to be....to accomplish the dreams that God had placed in their hearts....and make a difference in the world for future generations.

 

Everyday I hear others share their struggle between "making money" and "making a difference". So many times we become seduced into "acquiring" the trappings of a successful life and get sidetracked from the vision that we started out with on this journey. It is so easy for me to fall into the hole of achieving for achievements sake......to get so focused on the goal that I loose sight of the bigger vision that I started with....and I find in that hole that I have been sucked into "doing" rather than "being" who God has called me to "BE". 

 

This past week I have been "out of my gifting" as I worked to figure out the issues surrounding the "web presence" of Extreme Dreams......it was starting to consume me, and I was finding myself becoming more and more frustrated, unable to make decisions ( VERY UNLIKE ME! ) and overwhelmed with the problems inherent in doing a task that one is quite CLUELESS about!!! It was a constant challenge to remain in the "being" while committing to the tasks that would increase the opportunity to live in who and what God has called me to be and do.....make a difference in lives for future generations. My natural tendencies wanted  "go to lunch with a friend" rather than stick to the task of finding a blogger program that would provide the webspace that was both accessible and dependable! Walking in the balance draws on every fiber of my being as I listen to my heart, consider my thinking and act on the truth.  

 

When I finally surrendered to the truth of my own needs and my vision....I DID BOTH! :) I took time to spend and have a GREAT lunch with a dear friend...then with a cleared head came back to the office and quickly jumped into the process of making the decision and acting on the task. AND WHALA!!!!.....I am back in writing mode with a dependable and effective coaching journal back in place.

 

Knowing yourself, knowing your needs and desires, and living within who you are, while at the same time challenging your outer limits of commitment, breaking down the walls of fear towards change and growing in strength of character and faith towards ALL that we can be, is the essence of maturity......and maturity is it's own reward.

 

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish it's work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

~ James, the brother of Jesus,1:2-4

 

Kathy Douglas

President/Owner

Extreme Dreams, LLC

8203 Schaffer Ln.

Houston, TX 77070

Office - 281-890-5034

Fax - 281-469-0267

Cell - 713-398-7304

kathyd@extreme-dreams.com

www.extreme-dreams.com

 

"Helping people enjoy the journey as much as the destination"

 

Check out my coaching journal at:

http://www.extreme-dreams.com/blog/

 

The Journey fueled by Desire

Desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a keen pulsating desire which transcends everything.
- Napoleon Hill

Do not wait for a ray of ambition to guide you to your dreams. You will get there much sooner, and the light will be much brighter if you start today.
- Michelle C. Ustaszeski

When an idea reaches critical mass, there is no stopping the shift its presence will induce.
- Marianne Williamson

Don’t mistake movement for achievement. It’s easy to get faked out by being busy. The question is: Busy doing what?
- Jim Rohn

You cannot climb a mountain if you will not risk a fall.
- Rick Beneteau

The greatest inventions and accomplishments began as the flicker of an idea. This tiny flame was then fueled by desire and faith. Watch out for those tiny little ideas. You have the potential to turn them into great things.
- Steve Brunkhorst

Human beings who leave hehind them no great achievements, but only a sequence of small kindnesses, have not had wasted lives.
- Charlotte Gray

Ordinary people believe only in the possible. Extraordinary people visualize not what is possible or probable, but rather what is impossible. And by visualizing the impossible, they begin to see it as possible.
- Cherie Carter-Scott

The only real limitation on your abilities is the level of your desires. If you want it badly enough, there are no limits on what you can achieve.
- Brian Tracy

Those who truly have the spirit of champions are never wholly happy with an easy win. Half the satisfaction stems from knowing that it was the time and the effort you invested that led to your high achievement.
- Nicole Haislett

Achievement requires more than a vision - it takes courage, resolve and tenacity.
- Neil Eskelin

I woke up this morning fueled with the desire to take this journey….the journey towards the vision that God laid on my heart 6 years ago. He is the one who has the true Extreme Dreams. I have signed on to join Him. He is leading all the way. The steps that continue to be necessary in order to grow a business in the Texas music industry are steeped in the need to take risks, stay focused, hold on with tenacity and stay resolved. The vision must be bigger than yourself and integrated with a purpose and a mission that extends past your own needs, wants and desires.

As we receive from Him the gift of His desire for us, it finds it’s fullest expression as we give it back to Him and then He once again gives it back to us. The cycle of receiving and giving is the system by which God provides for our dreams to become reality. Only as we receive them fully from Him, are we able to give to others and back to Him. Each of us is a conduit through which God desires to pour out to the World His love and blessings.

Kathy Douglas
President/Owner
Extreme Dreams, LLC

Compassion for God first.

I want to use these words: “My lord, O King, according to thy saying, I am thine, and all that I have,” as the words of absolute surrender with which every child of God ought to yield himself to his Father. We have heard it before, but we need to hear it very definitely the condition of God’s blessing is absolute surrender of all into His hands. Praise God! If our hearts are willing for that, there is no end to what God will do for us, and to the blessing God will bestow.
~ Andrew Murray

God has been spending the last 3 years of my life teaching me how He feels. Allowing me the privilege of beginning to understand that every pain I feel, every suffering I experience, every hurt that resides deep inside, He not only feels for me…..but has felt it first and in greater degree than I can begin to imagine.

For years it had never occurred to me that God felt sorrow and pain. I am no sure why. I think it was because I figured as God…..He could certainly prevent that from happening to Himself! And my fear was that if He could not prevent it from happening to Him, He was powerless to keep it from happening to me!!!!! And yet as He has taught me and reveal more of Himself to me…. I have come to realize that His pain is what drove Him to send His Son to live and die for me….to set me free.

I have gone through a valley over these past few years. And as I have walked through that valley I have many times said “I would not wish what has happened to me on my worst enemy”. I was commiserating one day on that and God spoke to me and said ” I am not your worst enemy!” In that instant, I realized that God had chosen this path for me as my Lord and Savior who loves me and desires the BEST for me…..not as my worst enemy.

I had to go to my knees and ask for forgiveness from Him for my arrogance, for my deep belief that I am better, wiser and more compassionate than He is. I realized that in His complete love, compassion and wisdom He had chosen from Eternity Past that I would walk through this. He allowed me to experience His suffering and know His pain.

For the first time I realized that He and I shared something together. Every day He mourns for those who are separated from Him by sin, not from anything He did but by the choice of another, His creation, which He desired to have with Him, was taken away from the fellowship He created for them to have with Him. He had to suffer to have it return to Him. Now I understand how He feels. And each pain I encounter, God reminds me of the gift that it is……for it draws me closer to Him as He allows me to feel His deepest pain.

“Now if we are children, then we are heirs - heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in His sufferings in order that we may share in His Glory. I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.”
Romans 8:17-18

So now I fully surrender to God my heart, my deepest pain and I thank Him daily for the gift of allowing me into His deepest heart and pain. My present suffering and pain has value as He uses it to change the direction of His creation and separation from those He loves and Fathered……separation that would mean an eternity without them.

My prayer no longer is “keep me from pain” but now is ~

“Father God, make me, conform me into Your image, shape my soul and spirit to be like You so that through me You can reconcile the World, Your creation, Your children back to Yourself for all of Eternity.”

Kathy Douglas
President/Owner
Extreme Dreams, LLC