The healing power of Roses

"Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense."
— Gertrude Stein, American writer (1874-1946)

"The sad truth is that most evil is done by people who never make up their minds to be good or evil."
— Hannah Arendt, German-Jewish political philosopher and author (1906-1975)

"No one ever became extremely wicked suddenly."
— Juvenal, Roman satirist (c. 58-c. 127 A.D.)

“No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks.'' 
— Mary Wollstonecraft, English feminist and writer (1759-1797)

"When I am anxious it is because I am living in the future. When I am depressed it is because I am living in the past." 
— Unknown

“The tragedy of life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach. It isn't a calamity to die with dreams unfulfilled, but it is a calamity not to dream.... It is not a disgrace not to reach the stars, but it is a disgrace to have no stars to reach for. Not failure, but low aim is sin." 
— Benjamin Elijah Mays, American educator and president of Morehouse College (1895-1984)

Yesterday I was given the opportunity to go back to a part of my life that I rarely think about......mainly because it is very painful and still has little resolution to the issues. In fact, the realities of my life currently only heighten the pain that I experience when I go back there. As a result.....I found myself quite "blue" the rest of the day.....with no way to resolve the issues.....no answer to the pain that those issues pull out of my heart. The hardest part of it all is that it really makes no sense.....I can't make it make sense to anyone around me and so I feel even worse as a result. I have learned in my life recently that a desire I have when I get this way to is fill the hole with "something" so that it does not hurt so bad.....an addiction becomes that "hole-filler"......so as I stood in line at Randall's.....at the Wells Fargo banking center, checking off my list one more item of what needed to be done that day......I felt the pain so deeply that I wanted to cry right there in line.....as I looked around for something to relieve the pain.....I saw two options.....donuts and roses. Once finished with my business at the bank.....I stood in front of the roses and felt beauty surround me with loving arms.....like God had made those delicate flowers just a few weeks ago so that I could have them today....as a reminder of His love for me. I looked at the donuts and felt empty....so I bought the roses! 

As I look at them on my desk beside me.....I am comforted with a peace that rolls over my heart. They will last for days and bring me heart joy. I love roses....if you come to my house you will see that I do. My living room is filled with them.....it is my refuge...it is filled with all that I love.....a piano that my daughter plays with such beauty that I cry......and fine china tea sets that my sweet husband buys for me because I love them, music boxes, soft comfortable seating, paintings, books, light....and roses. Roses are on the tea sets, on the sofa, on the walls, on the curtains, on the music boxes.....roses are the theme of the room.....and God meets me there each morning and in those evenings when I hear Him calling....I meet Him there.

Growing up we moved a lot.....A LOT! And with each move I had to start over again.....trying to "fit in"......trying to find out how to make new friends in this strange new place. The older I got....the more difficult it was to figure out the ways to accomplish my goal.....avoid loneliness. When we moved to Germany I found not only a new culture surrounding me, but a new challenge. I was for the first time in my life confronted with people who were consistently "acting out" their pain in VERY painful ways.....very openly. I learned to cuss there....I learned to smoke...I learned to steal......I learned to tell my parents I was at my friends house and go hook up with some other friends and hop on a trolley to downtown Frankfurt so we could wander the streets of a huge foreign city......I learned to drink and I learned what sex was and words that people used about it. I was in sixth grade....and it was frightening. The only way to "fit in" was to go along. I was not very good at it.....I coughed up a lung every time I tried to smoke, I got caught each time I tried to steal some money from my mom's purse to go catch the trolley.....and I would get sick when I tried to drink......I used the wrong word when I tried to cuss ( I was too afraid to ask what any of the words meant so I used the wrong ones at the wrong time!) ......and I wore thick glasses and was a bit chubby so the boys weren't interested in me..........so I got beat up in the bathroom after school, made fun of and ostracized. I tried harder......and continued to fail miserably. A move back to the states was my saving grace......and a new environment in Miami, Fla where "fitting in" came easier. 

Miami was where I came to know Christ personally. I was going with a friend to a youth meeting each week.....and they would share how Jesus had made a difference in their lives and how they had a PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP with Him. This was a new concept to me. They shared how they had been drug addicts and such; and how God had rescued them and set them free. I could not relate to these stories....I was not any good at these things so I had given up on being "bad". I began to think that maybe God only wanted a REAL relationship those who were really bad.......and that somehow they were worth saving and loving and that they had a REAL purpose for their lives that He could use for His glory......and I was not one of them and I began to believe that I didn't even fit into God's criteria for having a relationship. Then one night a guy talked about how he had grown up in a church, attended with his family, basically lead a rather boring life, wasn't a "cool" kid.....but God one day offered him the opportunity to have a REAL relationship with Him. For the first time I had hope.....God wanted a relationship with a boring and "uncool" kid who was like me!!!! That night I began to listen differently....I began to think that maybe God was interested in me just as I was. Later that summer, I asked Him to come into my life and love me.....He did and it has never been the same since.

The next time I faced "fitting in" came when I headed off to college. Once again, I was faced with choices to "fit in" that were out of my skill sets. Choices to participate in activities that reminded me of my life in Germany.....drinking, sex, words, trips to do things I didn't want to do and to places that I could never tell my family about .....all things that I was not good at doing......I tried hard again to "fit in" ......once again I failed. My goal for those first two years of college was to "fit in".....it was a small goal, a low aim.....and I failed. I felt like God was not on my side anymore....nothing went my way.....all my plans to be "cool" and do all the stuff that all the "cool" people were doing were failing. Why couldn't I be like them and have it ALL...God AND a "cool" life????? I was JUST SURE that being "bad" would not only make me happy.....but didn't God know that He would then get the opportunity to come in and save me from this horrible life I would have and I would have a REALLY GREAT testimony to share with everyone then?????? Wasn't He aware of the well-known fact that people who had gone down the wrong path and returned from the depths of "hell" were the REALLY powerful tools for His purposes???? I needed to have this so that I could be of SOME USE TO HIM!!!! He wasn't buying it....and still won't. He thwarted every attempt I made to wreck my life so I could have a really great testimony.....each is a story in itself. I finally came to my senses.......and gave in to God and His choices for my life. It is embarrassing to realize how goofy I really am....and how ridiculous my perspective can actually get!!!

Every once in awhile...I get that old feeling that I have just not measured up as a really good example of His ability to save someone from the depths of hell.....I feel so bad that my life has not been "bad enough"... that it is not an encouragement to someone else that is helplessly trapped in their "really bad" addictions and the pain of their life.....that my life is rather useless to them in finding Hope in Christ. Then God reminds me that He made the roses.....and He made them for me.....He didn't need my help.....He didn't need me to be any certain way so that He could make them ......and He is NOT going to explain how He did it or why He did it that way......He just made them and wants me to enjoy their beauty for what they are.....like my life....a gift from Him on this journey home.

"It's in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, He had His eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose He is working out in everything and everyone."

~Ephesians 1:11-12 (The Message)

Kathy Douglas

President/Owner

Extreme Dreams, LLC

8203 Schaffer Ln.

Houston, TX 77070

Office - 281-890-5034

Fax - 281-469-0267

Cell - 713-398-7304

kathyd@extreme-dreams.net

www.extreme-dreams.net

 

"Helping people enjoy the journey as much as the destination"

 

Check out my coaching journal at:

http://extreme-dreams.blogspot.com/

 

watching God at work...

"Great dreams... never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line, to hold them up and say, "How good or how bad am I?" That's where courage comes in."
~Erma Bombeck

"You can design and create, and build the most wonderful place in the world. But it takes people to make the dream a reality."

 

"Our heritage and ideals, our code and standards - the things we live by and teach our children - are preserved or diminished by how freely we exchange ideas and feelings."

"When you're curious, you find lots of interesting things to do. And one thing it takes to accomplish something is courage."

 

"I'd say it's been my biggest problem all my life... it's money. It takes a lot of money to make these dreams come true."
~Walt Disney

I had a rare opportunity presented to me yesterday.....a choice. It was an easy choice for me, but I realized today that it only came easy because I am fully aware of the vision that God has placed in my heart. And with that vision completely permeating my being....I am able to hold each choice in life up to it and make decisions based on their alignment with that vision. Yesterday I was given the choice of staying in my office and "working" on things that needed to be done ...OR going......to spend the day watching God at work in a recording studio, loving one of the artists that God has strategically placed in my life and experiencing the joy of God's perspective in all of it. I chose to trust God's invitation....knowing that HE could take care of the work.

 

Yesterday was a day God showed up all day long to refresh me......and WOW.....did I need it!!!!!!!!! Until this morning I did not realized HOW MUCH I needed it!!!!! And God knew just how to do it so that I would be completely refreshed in ALL of the areas of my life. So many things are happening in so many areas of my life.....and I am watching God show up and work in each of them so powerfully. It is a huge change that I am observing in myself.... God has worked it in me....His Spirit rising up and working through me.....it certainly is not the "old me"!!!!!!  I am a "doer"....and at the same time a "people person"....I fight this pull within myself to accomplish OR have fun!!!!!!! Depending on what is happening in my life and how I am handling all of it.....I will flip from one side to the other. The balance is difficult to discern and the world around me is of little help!  Like Walt Disney...I am very curious and I find LOADS of interesting things to do!!!!!!!!

 

What I realized this morning is that God had arranged all of it for me.....and offered me the opportunity to join Him in the adventure He has called me to participate in......and all I have to do is receive.....and in that is the REAL balance. What an awesome gift!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I am overwhelmed this morning by His love for me ( yep, those of you who know me well realize I am sitting here writing this with tears streaming down my face!!!!!!! ).....and to what lengths He has gone to as He expresses that love to me. Once I received the gift He was giving me yesterday through a FUN FILLED day with my friend, Kyle......experiencing the art that he and God were at work creating......and reconnecting with the process that drives the vision God has given me.......I was able to be there to give back to Kyle my own gift of encouragement and love as he continues on a journey that both scares him and brings him closer to God's purpose for his life.

 

And a note to my friend, Kyle.....YOU ARE THERE, DUDE!!!!!!!!! What God is co-creating along with you is beyond description.....and I am blown away by the creativity, the beauty and the LIFE that is surging through the music. You have laid it on the line.....and what is at work here is beyond even YOUR imagination!!!! You were not aware of the gift God was giving to me through you yesterday......thank you for giving your gift to me.

 

It is the most interesting experience to realize that I am many times simply called to watch God at work, be amazed at His power and glory showing up in daily life.... thank Him for that work....and be available to Him as His instrument to refresh others who are on this journey with me.

 

"A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed"

~Proverbs 11:25 

 

Kathy Douglas

President/Owner

Extreme Dreams, LLC

8203 Schaffer Ln.

Houston, TX 77070

Office - 281-890-5034

Fax - 281-469-0267

Cell - 713-398-7304

kathyd@extreme-dreams.net

www.extreme-dreams.net

 

"Helping people enjoy the journey as much as the destination"

 

Check out my coaching journal at:

http://extreme-dreams.blogspot.com/

 

One Step at a Time

"Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so you shall become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil."
~James Allen

 

"So if you're serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don't shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ--that's where the action is. See things from his perspective.Your old life is dead. Your new life, which is your real life--even though invisible to spectators--is with Christ in God. He is your life. When Christ (your real life, remember) shows up again on this earth, you'll show up, too--the real you, the glorious you."

~Paul to the Colossiasns 3:1-4 ( The Message)

"Above all be of single aim; have a legitimate and useful purpose, and devote yourself unreservedly to it." 
~James Allen

 

"Meanwhile, be content with obscurity, like Christ. And that means killing off everything connected with that way of death: sexual promiscuity, impurity, lust, doing whatever you feel like whenever you feel like it, and grabbing whatever attracts your fancy. That's a life shaped by things and feelings instead of by God."

~Paul to the Colossians 3:5 ( The Message)

"Good thoughts bear good fruit, bad thoughts bear bad fruit." 
~James Allen

"It wasn't long ago that you were doing all that stuff and not knowing any better. But you know better now, so make sure it's all gone for good: bad temper, irritability, meanness, profanity, dirty talk. Don't lie to one another. You're done with that old life. It's like a filthy set of ill-fitting clothes you've stripped off and put in the fire. Now you're dressed in a new wardrobe. Every item of your new way of life is custom-made by the Creator, with his label on it. All the old fashions are now obsolete."

~Paul to the Colossians 3:7-10 ( The Message)

 

"He who would accomplish little must sacrifice little; he who would achieve much must sacrifice much; he who would attain highly must sacrifice greatly."
~James Allen

 

"So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it."

~Paul to the Colossians 3:12 - 14

 

"The law of harvest is to reap more than you sow. Sow an act, and you reap a habit. Sow a habit and you reap a character. Sow a character and you reap a destiny."
~James Allen

 

"Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ--the Message--have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives--words, actions, whatever--be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way."

~Paul to the Colossians 3:15-17 ( The Message)

"The greatest achievement was at first and for a time a dream. The oak sleeps in the acorn, the bird waits in the egg, and in the highest vision of the soul a waking angel stirs. Dreams are the seedlings of realities."
~James Allen

 

"Long before he laid down earth's foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. ( What pleasure he took in planning this! ) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son. He thought of everything, provided for everything we could possibly need, letting us in on the plans he took such delight in making. He set it all out before us in Christ, a long-range plan in which everything would be brought together and summed up in him, everything in deepest heaven, everything on planet earth."

~Paul to the Ephesians 1:4-6, 9-10 (The Message)

 

It was interesting this morning as I was sitting here, realizing that I had something to share, and not knowing what it was to be. As I considered what has happened in the last 2 days......and what God is doing in my life....I realized that God is moving me forward, one step at a time....in a dream that is His. As I considered what "man" has to say about dreams....and read the quotes of someone who had a LOT to say...James Allen......I was reminded of what another person had to say. And as I compared their writings.....I saw the correlation.

 

I really did not know anything about James Allen....and after a google search came to learn about who he was. He was from the late 1800's and though he had written 19 books he was rather obscure. One book he wrote appears to be quite well known "As a Man Thinketh".....and as I read through some of the material, I realized that his writings were not necessarily Christian in nature, but that he did write from a Christian Worldview. He had grown up in a culture that was highly influenced by the Puritan perspective....a strong work ethic and a tendency towards legalism rather than relationship. He was revolutionary in his perspective that focused on the thought life as the place where life was directed. I didn't agree with everything he had to say or every way he said it.....and yet his basic premise is found throughout scripture.....and actually is workable in life whether or not your are a Christian.

 

Our thoughts do move from "thought" to "feeling" to "response/reaction"......God created us that way. Our thought life is our own...no one can control it but us. We can surrender it to God....however, it is a choice on a moment by moment basis.....a thought is required to do even THAT. God goes even deeper though, to the heart.....and points out that our thoughts are a result of our heart condition. We will fight a loosing battle and struggle constantly with our thought life if our heart is not right with God. Once that surrender has taken place, we can choose to live from our redeemed heart, at peace with God, and He can direct our thoughts...and the system goes forward.

 

As I have surrendered to the dream that God has placed in my heart.....I am watching Him direct it. On Wednesday I began planning the first workshop with another speaker in the music industry. I will participate as a speaker/trainer...sharing the insights I have gained over the past 25 years on the "Building Blocks of a Dream".  As we discussed the set up and how my material would blend with hers, it became clear that what God was calling me to share would be applicable in any setting.....corporate, music, home, church.....anywhere He wanted to send me. She encouraged me to stay open to any direction as she had found that many people are desiring to learn this information. It reminded me that the training I have received all of these years has tremendous value....I THOUGHT everyone already had this information.....it appears that my thoughts were wrong! :) As I am listening more to others, God can realign my thoughts to the truth.....and align my dreams to His dreams....and this journey gets even MORE exciting!!!!

 

"For as he thinks within himself, so he is. He says to you, "Eat and drink!" But his heart is not with you."

~Proverbs 24:7

 

"We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ."

 ~Paul in his Second letter to the Corinthians 10:5 

 

 

Kathy Douglas

President/Owner

Extreme Dreams, LLC

8203 Schaffer Ln.

Houston, TX 77070

Office - 281-890-5034

Fax - 281-469-0267

Cell - 713-398-7304

kathyd@extreme-dreams.net

www.extreme-dreams.net

 

"Helping people enjoy the journey as much as the destination"

 

Check out my coaching journal at:

http://extreme-dreams.blogspot.com/

 

Our deepest motivation

You know a dream is like a river
Ever changing as it flows.
And a dreamer's just a vessel
That must follow where it goes.
Trying to learn from what's behind you
And never knowing what's in store
Makes each day a constant battle
Just to stay between the shores.
~Garth Brooks "The River"

 

Ah, great it is to believe the dream
As we stand in youth by the starry stream;
But a greater thing is to fight life through,
And say at the end, "The dream is true!"
~Edwin Markham

"The thing you have to be prepared for is that other people don't always dream your dream."
~Linda Ronstadt

"Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men." 
~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I had several different responses to my email yesterday....from a "YAHOO --- FINALLY!!!!!!" from Toni, to a "That's Exciting, GET GOING!!!" from Tara Hutton. All encouraging and all expressing a belief in me and my dream.....I want to THANK EACH OF YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!! 

What I know is that it will be a long journey and as with any journey when the ship leaves the shore there are many on the shoreline waving their good-byes and good lucks with excitement and encouragement. I do not say this to in anyway discount the importance of those precious notes and true expressions of belief and excitement. I say this to myself and to those I need coming WITH me on this journey.....we need each other, we need each other on this journey to fight through to the other side.

Life is a battle....fraught with adventure, danger, beauty, enemies, and without those that are called to make that journey together.....it can be lonely and discouraging once we are out on that road moving towards the place God is calling us. Life gets in our way.....it places road blocks, distractions, pain, discouragement, and without those that God has called to go together on this journey.....we can loose our way.

I have always loved Garth Brooks song "The River".....I cried the first time I heard it.....it pierces my soul time and time again. God has used it time and time again to remind me that HE is the river.....I must follow Him wherever He goes.....He never changes, but He also never tells me where each bend in the road is. He is constantly creating....that is His Nature and Character, Creator.  He has created me with a purpose and a plan for my life....a life of abundance and joy....a life that He redeemed from the snare of the enemy of my soul and though this world is filled with dangers and lies....HE will never forsake me, He is with me ALWAYS.....He NEVER LEAVES me alone to face this world by myself.....He keeps me safe within His Powerful and Mighty Hand. Even if everyone else abandons me.....I can know that this dream is HIS dream for me.....and HE will not abandon me.....and that truth drives me closer to Him! It is incredibly beautiful!!!!!!!

My deepest motivation is to bring Glory and Honor and pleasure to my Lord, He is all I have and ever want. As I go forward with Him.....He will keep me safe on this journey....He will keep each of us safe on this journey as we go out together to Love Him and Love one another.

This is the way GOD put it:

   "They found grace out in the desert,

    these people who survived the killing.

    Israel, out looking for a place to rest,

    met God out looking for them!"

    GOD told them, "I've never quit loving you and never will.

    Expect love, love, and more love!

    And so now I'll start over with you and build you up again,

    dear virgin Israel.

    You'll resume your singing,

    grabbing tambourines and joining the dance."

   ~ Jeremiah 31:2-4 (The Message)

 

Kathy Douglas

President/Owner

Extreme Dreams, LLC

8203 Schaffer Ln.

Houston, TX 77070

Office - 281-890-5034

Fax - 281-469-0267

Cell - 713-398-7304

kathyd@extreme-dreams.net

www.extreme-dreams.net

 

"Helping people enjoy the journey as much as the destination"

 

Check out my coaching journal at:

http://extreme-dreams.blogspot.com/

 

Stepping across....

"It's the independent American spirit that built this country - hard-working entrepreneurs who believe in the reality of their dreams."

~Robert E. Hughes

"A mediocre idea that generates enthusiasm will go further then a great idea that inspires no one."
~Mary Kay Ash

 

"Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall at last unveil."

~John Ruskin

"Dreams are extremely important. You can’t do it unless you imagine it."

~George Lucas

 

"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours."

~Henry David Thoreau

 

"We grow great by dreams. All big men are dreamers. They see things in the soft haze of a spring day or in the red fire of a long winter's evening. Some of us let these great dreams die, but others nourish and protect them; nurse them through bad days till they bring them to the sunshine and light which comes always to those who sincerely hope that their dreams will come true."

~Woodrow Wilson

 

"It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else."

~ Erma Bombeck

 

"The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want."

~Ben Stein

 

"Vision without action is merely a dream. Action without vision just passes the time. Vision with action can change the world." 

~Joel Barker

 

"I don't dream at night, I dream all day; I dream for a living."

~Steven Spielberg

"When your heart is in your dreams, no request is too extreme."

~Jiminy Cricket 

I have always liked Jiminy! People always have a favorite Disney character....they even fill their rooms and lives with pictures, t-shirts and paraphernalia of these characters......but I have found few of these items that depict old "Jiminy Cricket"....who is my favorite of all the characters that Walt Disney developed. He always seems to show up to encourage Pinocchio to keep going forward towards his dream of being a REAL BOY....to step out in faith and BELIEVE!!!!!!!! And if you haven't figured it out by now.....he was the inspiration of name for my company, Extreme Dreams...my respect for him lives in the name of this company!

 

I have spent the last 25 years of my life learning about the building blocks of a dream....teaching these principles first to the consultants and directors in Mary Kay Cosmetics and now to artists and music industry professionals. I have done most of it through the process of daily living and conversation....much of it to increase my own understanding and grow in my own knowledge of the subject. There is never an end to understanding the power of a Dream! It is said that the teacher learns more than the students.....and so I have spent my life teaching so as to learn more.

 

The majority of my life's work has been focused on helping others achieve their dreams...the consultants and directors who were a part of my life in Mary Kay, my children, my friends, the artists I work with.......and yet lately God has begun to press me forward towards my own dream. For a while, I was totally lost in the dreams of others. It was not until a couple of years ago, when I read "The Purpose Driven Life" that I began to recognize that I had a dream in my heart that I had not addressed....that God was calling me to a deeper understanding of my purpose and His plan. Through the years since then, I am again and again challenged by those around me to share what I have spent a lifetime learning.....and reminded daily that the purpose God has planned for that training I have been going through has not just been for my own needs but to pass along to others.

 

So today......I am committing to the development of a seminar, that I have been working on the outline for over that last 3 months, on "The Building Blocks of a Dream" . THERE....I put it out there! Now I am committed....now I am asking that each of you hold me accountable to the follow through on this dream. I remember Toni Fitzgerald telling me 6 years ago to step out and become a speaker.....I waved her off, believing that I needed to help others reach their dreams rather than focus on my own dream. I realize now that It was just my fear that I could not really make a difference. I told myself that Toni only knew me as a Mary Kay Speaker...stuff that I knew like the back of my hand and could speak from without wondering if I was making any sense...... and that the rest of the outside world had all the speakers they needed....and I was quite useless in that arena. TONI, I am asking you to hold me to this....your belief in me back then has stayed with me, I will need it now!!! Others along the road have also encouraged me at different times.....Ed Shane, Kyle Hutton, Stephanie Urbina Jones, my Mom, and many others.....I am asking each of you to hold me accountable.....to PUSH ME!! I am stepping across the line...and Steph, you are right.....I am feeling exactly what the artists I work with feel....SCARED!!!!!!

 

The vision of Extreme Dreams requires that I take this step.....to impact and influence the popular culture, I must move this direction. Yesterday at church, our pastor talked about the Dead Sea.....it only receives in....it never gives out...it is dead....nothing grows anywhere near it. It hit me that all the learning and training and reading and growing .....if not given out, will die. However, if I will step out of my comfort zone and give to all who will receive, I can multiply the impact of the vision.....and I believe in multiplication!!!! So the journey continues.....and who knows where it will take me...but I am determined to enjoy it!!!!!!!

 

"Sow your seed in the morning, and at evening let not your hands be idle, for you do not know which will succeed, whether this or that, or whether both will do equally well."

~Ecclesiastes. 11:6

Kathy Douglas

President/Owner

Extreme Dreams, LLC

8203 Schaffer Ln.

Houston, TX 77070

Office - 281-890-5034

Fax - 281-469-0267

Cell - 713-398-7304

kathyd@extreme-dreams.net

www.extreme-dreams.net

 

"Helping people enjoy the journey as much as the destination"

 

Check out my coaching journal at:

http://extreme-dreams.blogspot.com/

 

Building the Dream

"Every step you take, is a step away from where you used to be"

~Brian Chargualaf

 

"If you're going through hell, keep going"

~Winston Churchill

 

"It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves"

~Sir Edmund Hillary, first to summit Everest (1953)

 

"There is nothing with which every man is so afraid as getting to know how enormously much he is capable of doing and becoming."
~Siren Kierkegaard

 

"Blessed are they who expect nothing for they shall not be disappointed!"
~Unknown

 

"Anyone who proposes to do good must not expect people to roll stones out of his way, but must accept his lot calmly, even if they roll a few stones upon it."

~ALBERT SCHWEITZER

 

"Nothing is so hard for those who abound in riches as to conceive how others can be in want."
~Jonathan Swift

 

"If you think you're too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito in the room."
~Anita Roddick

 

"Anything God has ever done at any time, He can do now.  And anything God has ever done anywhere, He can do right here.  Furthermore, anything God has ever done in and through anyone, He is prepared to do in and through you, if you invite Him to do so."
~A.W. Tozer

I watched the Men's Gymnastics Nationals this afternoon and saw a young man I had come to know about 9 years ago, who trained at the same gym that my daughter Amy trained at, win the National Championship. Todd Thornton was 14 years old back when he trained with Amy and he was a normal young gymnast, filled with hopes and dreams of one day representing his country at the Olympics. It's funny, we were just talking about him on Thursday evening....and about his friendship with Amy! It is so cool to watch these gymnasts that we know achieve all that they are capable of!!!!! Congrats, Todd!!!!!

 

He missed the Olympic Team last year by a very tiny margin.....and it was wonderful to see him rise today above that disappointment to a new level of achievement. He was asked today how that disappointment had affected him, his response was so beautiful as it illustrated the principles of development......he pointed out to the interviewer that the training he had been in to prepare for the Olympic Trails had catapulted him to such a high level of skill that today's victory was the result.

 

Well over 10 years of hard work went into the making of today's National Champion.....hard years of sacrifice, pain, conditioning, dedication, discipline, repetition upon repetition......falls, injuries, heartache, disappointment, anguish.......commitment, patience, comrade, support, encouragement, mental toughness, confidence....expense, expense upon expense!!!!!!! ( gymnastics is EXPENSIVE to say the least!!!).......HOURS and HOURS and HOURS of training to be PERFECT.....and to push to the end of all possible endurance. There used to be a sign on the wall at the gym that said..." Perfect practice makes Perfect " .....that is the essence of gymnastics. To watch those athletes train was the greatest lesson in consistency, commitment and discipline I ever received. There is no margin for error......no option to just be "good enough".......and the beauty that is created on the competition floor, is the result of what appears to be absolute chaos in the gym.

 

Todd built his dream daily.....his goal is ever before him and he daily chooses to build on his strength and skills toward the fulfillment of that dream. He watched his best friend, Sean Townsend who we also knew from that gym, go to the Olympics and experience his dreams come to reality. Todd knows what dreams look like, has an example to follow and support as he moves towards his dream.  Todd continues to do what anyone who has a dream must do, he surrounds himself with those who believe in his dream and support him as he moves towards that dream. His coaches and training partners have the same goal in mind for Todd....the accomplishment of their dreams.

 

Negativity is truly poison in our veins.....it kills our dreams, saps us of our energy and strips us of the power to trust in God and His plan for our lives. I have to ask myself daily if I have allowed the training of my past to catapult me into the future of God's plan and purpose or if I fall too often into the negative hole of discouragement and disappointment loosing out on the results that God is wanting to accomplish in and through me. The later is too often true....and yet I am so thankful that His mercies are NEW EVERY MORNING....and I can begin again today anew to build the dream God has placed in my heart as I enjoy this journey

"The unfailing love of the LORD never ends! By His mercies we have been kept from complete destruction. Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each day. I say to myself, "The LORD is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in Him!"

~Lamentations 3:22-24 (New Living Translation)

 

 

Kathy Douglas

President/Owner

Extreme Dreams, LLC

8203 Schaffer Ln.

Houston, TX 77070

Office - 281-890-5034

Fax - 281-469-0267

Cell - 713-398-7304

kathyd@extreme-dreams.net

www.extreme-dreams.net

 

"Helping people enjoy the journey as much as the destination"

 

Check out my coaching journal at:

http://extreme-dreams.blogspot.com/

 

Moving Forward

"When you choose to kill time, you begin to kill those gifts and callings which God has placed within your life. The first step in overcoming procrastination is to eliminate all excuses and reasons for not taking decisive and immediate action. The mistake most people make is thinking that the main goal in life is to stay busy. Such thinking is a trap. What is important is not whether a person is busy, but whether he is progressing. It is the question of activity versus accomplishment.......The fact is the longer we take to act on God's direction, the more unclear it becomes."

~John L. Mason

 

"There comes a special moment in everyone's life, a moment for which that person was born. That special opportunity , when he seizes it, will fulfill his mission - a mission or which he is uniquely qualified. In that moment, he finds greatness. It is his finest hour."

~Winston Churchill

 

"When we feel loved, we feel secure, when we do not feel loved, we don't feel secure"

~Don Knipp

 

"Leadership is not magnetic personality—that can just as well be a glib tongue. It is not "making friends and influencing people"—that is flattery. Leadership is lifting a person's vision to higher sights, the raising of a person's performance to a higher standard, the building of a personality beyond its normal limitations."
~Peter F. Drucker

 

"Leadership is action, not position."
~Donald H. McGannon

"Leadership is getting people to work for you when they are not obligated."
~Fred Smith

"A good leader inspires others with confidence in him; a great leader inspires them with confidence in themselves."
~Unkown

 

Leadership.....so much is written and said about it....and yet so many are confused by what makes a great leader. Years ago I was given a small book entitled "Inspiring Influence" by Chuck Swindoll....and I did what I do a lot....I bought several copies and gave them away!!!!! INCLUDING MY OWN!!!!!! I wish I had kept a copy....but alas, I did not. The book had a lasting impact on my thinking and beliefs about leadership. It put me on the road to developing my own  leadership skills to a higher level. It then lead me to another author, John Maxwell....who's books and tapes were incredible reminders to me that everything rises and falls on leadership. I recommend that ANYONE who can...read everything he has written on the subject. I have had the privilege of hearing him speak several times.....and his gift as a speaker goes far beyond his ability to convey truth on the written page.

 

As God was directing me into the development of Extreme Dreams, LLC......He placed John Maxwell at a strategic point in my forward movement. At a crucial point where I stood at the crossroads of decision.....after what appeared to be a fatal failure. The message was to live beyond my means......and I cried through the entire presentation....and wrote down the insights from the book of Acts from which he drew his insights. God reminds me of that day at important times in my journey...I was reminded of it last Friday night. All weekend God has been stirring up within me a myriad of emotions and experiences.

 

I learned long ago that my feelings were not the reality of my life....but they many times drive me to the place where I can surrender to what God is doing in my life....so to ignore the deep sense of unrest in my soul was to ignore something that God was doing in my life. I have a dear friend, Stephanie, who has been a gift in my life.....and I in hers. There has been between us a deep love for one another ever since the beginning of our relationship. Her belief in me is God's continually tool in affirming His purposes and direction. She shows up again and again to hold forth a vision of who I am to me that many times gets lost in the day to day living of life.  Stephanie is a leader also....stepping out into the vision that God has prepared for her to lead others into......and she has demonstrated courage and strength in the midst of owning her fears and frustrations. She was "inspiring influence" to me yesterday......she loved me right where I was and gave me a security in that love that has helped me move forward. As I shared my unrest with her yesterday she was the reminder God used once again to send me back to His call on my life.

 

When God has called someone to a role of leadership it can be the scariest ride of all....as well as the loneliest. Once again I am being called to live beyond my means.....way out beyond myself..... my own abilities and inabilities, my own vision and fears. To step out into areas that I have some understanding, but certainly not enough to go confidently in my own power....and that is right where God wants me. As I pulled out the pages of an old notebook that I had written insights and direction in back in 1998-1999....when God was leading me into a world I knew nothing about.....I can look at it now and smile. God was here already......and though I was scared out of my mind by the direction I was going....I was writing down all the directions to get there. In those notes, I found the answer to my unrest....and this morning I am ready to once again enjoy the journey NO MATTER WHAT the destination God has planned for me!

 

"No one's ever seen or heard anything like this, Never so much as imagined anything quite like it-- What God has arranged for those who love him. But you've seen and heard it because God by his Spirit has brought it all out into the open before you. The Spirit, not content to flit around on the surface, dives into the depths of God, and brings out what God planned all along."

~Paul in his first letter to the Corinthians 2:9 - 10 ( The Message)

Kathy Douglas

President/Owner

Extreme Dreams, LLC

8203 Schaffer Ln.

Houston, TX 77070

Office - 281-890-5034

Fax - 281-469-0267

Cell - 713-398-7304

kathyd@extreme-dreams.net

www.extreme-dreams.net

 

"Helping people enjoy the journey as much as the destination"

 

Check out my coaching journal at:

http://extreme-dreams.blogspot.com/

 

The Next 5 minutes

"You can't test your destiny cautiously. The key is this: to forfeit the safety of what we are for what we could become. Unless you do something beyond what you have already done, you will never grow. Good intentions are like checks that men try to draw from a bank where they have no account. It's been said that the biggest enemy of great is good. Don't accept good enough as good enough. Only an average person is always at his best."

~ John L. Mason

 

"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing."

~Helen Keller

 

"People who never do anymore than they get paid for never get paid for any more than they do."

~Elbert Hubbard

 

"Don't play for safety, it is the most dangerous thing in the world."

~Hugh Walpole

 

The future is so far out there...and yet it is only one moment away. I have no REAL idea of what will happen in the next 5 minutes. If I allow myself to become fearful of those next 5 minutes, I will become absolutely paralyzed with fear.....for the REST of my life!!!!!  And yet all of life is made up in the next 5 minutes. What will I do with THOSE next 5 minutes, and then the next 5 minutes after that and so on and so on???

 

The same is true if I live in fear of what will happen in SOME 5 minute span out there in the future......I can stay right where I am....feeling that it is bringing me some sort of security and stability....when in reality it is the most dangerous choice of all. I struggle with the balance of the two....stretching forward and resting. If I do either out of fear....I am doomed.

 

Faith is about relishing each moment while stretching into the chaos of what the future might hold with enthusiastic anticipation. The incredible part of it all is the God is already there...calling me into the thrill of the rollercoaster ride of life. The ups and downs, twists and turns......all with Him right alongside me laughing and throwing up His arms in the joy of existence. I can look at Him in sheer terror or I can trust and enjoy the ride! It is my moment by moment choice....to enjoy this journey!!!!

 

"I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward--to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back."

~Paul in a letter to the Philippians 3:12-14 (The Message)

 

Kathy Douglas

President/Owner

Extreme Dreams, LLC

8203 Schaffer Ln.

Houston, TX 77070

Office - 281-890-5034

Fax - 281-469-0267

Cell - 713-398-7304

kathyd@extreme-dreams.net

www.extreme-dreams.net

 

"Helping people enjoy the journey as much as the destination"

 

Check out my coaching journal at:

http://extreme-dreams.blogspot.com/

 

Dreaming Big

"Security and Opportunity are total strangers. If an undertaking does not require faith, it's not worthy of being called God's direction."

 

"Biblical Principles times nothing equals nothing."

 

"Rising above mediocrity never just happens, it is always a result of faith."

 

"Genius is someone who shoots at a target no one sees and hits it. Someone said " We are told never to cross a bridge till we come to it, but this world is owned by men who have "crossed bridges" in their imagination far ahead of the crowd". We should observe the future and act before it occurs. A person's dreams are an indicator of his potential greatness. A God-given idea always comes to an individual with the force of a revelation."

 

" Other people may be smarter. better educated or more experienced than you, but no single person has a corner on dreams, desire or ambition. The creation of a thousand forests of opportunity spring from a tiny acorn of an idea."

 

" A dream is one of the most exciting things there is. You are more than an empty bottle to be filled. You are a candle to be lit. Your heart has eyes which the brain knows nothing of."

 

Collection of Quotes from "An Enemy Called Average" by John L. Mason

 

Last night I witnessed the reality of a long held hope. A hope that my friend, Kyle, dreamed of......... that his wife, Tara, would sing with him.... came true. Last night she undertook a step of faith that lit the candle within her.......and sang a song she had written, as Kyle accompanied her on his guitar, and sang alongside her with a joy radiating from his heart that in all these years of watching him perform....I had never seen shine forth so brightly. His dream had come forth.....and the joy in his heart flowed out through every fiber of his being. What an incredible performance.....straight from the heart.

 

I am a dreamer.....a dreamer who puts feet and legs on dreams. I am like a dog on a bone.....I just can't let go of a real dream.....not a "wish", I can let those fly by....but a real, heart and guts dream.....now that is what I am talking about!!!!  My library is filled with all kinds of books that have supported my belief that dreams can, will and do come true......if we consistently and continually move towards our dreams. As I listened to the heart of Tara last night....and thought of all the years that had gone before when this night seemed impossible.....I wondered how I was not really that surprised by the events!  And then at the restaurant we went to afterwards to celebrate the victory....the conversation began to reveal something that my Life Coach, Jim, continues to pound in my head.....I had once again forgotten something I already knew.

 

This morning as my husband was getting up at 6am to go to the Men's Bible Study, Band of Brothers, at our Church.....the Lord spoke in that sweet, soft tone to me.....reminding me that He has been teaching me to believe in dreams coming true all my life. He has been training me to step out in faith....and not be surprised by the miraculous.....but to live in it. As I got my morning coffee....I was drawn to my bookshelf....and there they were book after book..."Dare to Dream", "The Success Journey", "You Can Have it All", "The Dream Giver" .......and so many others....and then my eye landed on "An Enemy Called Average". I had not picked that book up in 5 years.....but as I thumbed through the pages, I could recite the words as my eye followed the letters across the page. The phrases were ingrain in my thoughts and memory.....and it felt like years of pain and struggle were fading away as I read those encouraging words once again.

 

How often do we settle for average??? How often do we expect so little from God and His power to transform the weak things of this world into the Glory that HE wants to reveal???? Too often.....too often we fail to believe that the desires of our hearts are truly placed there by God....to show forth His power and glory. Last night....God's power and glory were on display. And what a display it was!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The first of MANY dreams to come true!!!!!!!!!!! HANG ON, WE'RE OFF!!!!!!

 

"Live full lives, full in the fullness of God. God can do anything, you know--far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us."

Paul in a letter to the Ephesians 3:19-21 (The Message)

 

 

Kathy Douglas

President/Owner

Extreme Dreams, LLC

8203 Schaffer Ln.

Houston, TX 77070

Office - 281-890-5034

Fax - 281-469-0267

Cell - 713-398-7304

kathyd@extreme-dreams.net

www.extreme-dreams.net

 

"Helping people enjoy the journey as much as the destination"

 

Check out my coaching journal at:

http://extreme-dreams.blogspot.com/

 

Getting our own way

"Remember, the mind likes to assume it "know what it knows" but often its perceptions are just not accurate. Yet strong judgments are made all the time based on limited information...When we judge someone and then adopt an attitude toward them, that shuts down other possibilities and locks us away from the insight of our hearts"

~Doc Childre and Howard Martin, HeartMath Solution

 

"It's time to teach ourselves and our children how to care deeply about something, and to have strongly held beliefs and opinions, without judging others. Judgments only end up hurting the one who judges........Your best course of action invariably comes from the core values of your heart."
~Doc Childre and Bruce Cryer, From Chaos to Coherence: The Power to Change Performance

 

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them. "
~Mother Teresa

"Good judgment comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgment."
~Rita Mae Brown

 

"Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold — but so does a hard-boiled egg."

~Unknown

"It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never- satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community."

~Galatians 5:19-21 The Message

 

Getting to the heart of the matter.....that is the key factor that keeps showing up in numerous conversations I have been involved in over the past couple of weeks. Getting past the "noise" and down to the TRUTH of the issues that are being discussed....allowing the deep fears, judgments and concerns that overwhelm our hearts to get cleared out....so that our TRUE heart can be heard. Being consistently open and surrendered to what God is doing can be VERY tough work!

 

I used to believe that faith was all about knowing what I wanted and believing that God would give it to me.....and if I just had enough "faith" that was the key that turned the lock on the door to my dreams. When it didn't work, I was sure it was my own fault for not having enough "faith"....and so the remedy would be to demand more faith from myself so I could have what I wanted. It still didn't work!!!!

 

Some years later I went through a study called "Experiencing God". In that study the perspective was presented that MAYBE I had it backwards!!! MAYBE God had a plan and faith REALLY was about finding out what God wanted and getting on board with Him....not the other way around! It was really about looking around to see where He was at work and joining Him at His Work!!! It was a totally new concept to me....but it revolutionized my entire life. Not only did it change my perspective....but it continues to take away all the fear of measuring up to the "level of faith" that I used to feel I had to attain in order to experience my dreams.

 

 The old belief simply enslaved me to the a perspective that was totally useless in accomplishing what I believed God had planned for my life.....I was stuck in a life of responsibility, surrounded by people but lonely, busy but empty....wanting more but not knowing what that more was. On the outside I was successful and appeared happy.....my life looked "all together" ......but inside I was hurt, resentful, struggling and a nagging bitterness was looming.

 

The last 15 years have been the journey of relearning what TRUE faith is all about....releasing my own judgments, fears and useless perspectives that prevent me and others from experiencing God and His love. God has taken me through a rigorous training course that has been specifically designed to drive me back to the heart of God where it is far more likely that the intentions of my heart line up with the actions that are displayed in my behavior. Does that happen ALL THE TIME??? Certainly NOT! I am as human as the next person! What is exciting, however, is that I see progress in the change of my own perspective as it lines up more with love than with judgment.....where my heart is what I operate from rather than my ego and fears.

 

"You think that everyone should agree with your perfect knowledge. While knowledge may make us feel important, it is love that really builds up the church. Anyone who claims to know all the answers doesn't really know very much. But the person who loves God is the one God knows and cares for."

~1 Corinthians 8:1-3 (New Living Translation)

 

Kathy Douglas

President/Owner

Extreme Dreams, LLC

8203 Schaffer Ln.

Houston, TX 77070

Office - 281-890-5034

Fax - 281-469-0267

Cell - 713-398-7304

kathyd@extreme-dreams.net

www.extreme-dreams.net

 

"Helping people enjoy the journey as much as the destination"

 

Check out my coaching journal at:

http://extreme-dreams.blogspot.com/

 

So what if you are a First Born?

"London, Aug 28 (ANI): If you are the first-born in your family, then you are more likely to be a high-flyer, like U.S. President George W. Bush, 57, astronaut Neil Armstrong, 73, and Oscar- winner Gwyneth Paltrow, 30.

According to an Australian study published in The Sun, every astronaut and half of the Presidents in the U.S., and Hollywood's biggest stars have been the eldest child in their respective families. If the study is to be believed, eldest kids are often "high- achieving, goal-setting perfectionists, who are responsible and determined."

 

Research has also shown that due to higher expectations that are placed on the oldest child in a family, first-borns experience more guilt, anxiety, and difficulty in coping with stressful situations "

~JENICA M. TRAMONTANA

 

First borns tend to be conscientious, well-organized, serious, goal oriented, achieving, people pleasers, and believers in authority. And when you add other signs of first borns and onlies, such as perfectionist, reliable, list maker, critical, scholarly, self-sacrificing, conservative, supporter of law and order, legalistic, and self-reliant, you can see why first borns usually get more ink in the write-ups of life. First borns are often the achievers because they are driven toward success and stardom in their given fields. The world cannot ignore first borns. If you had siblings you may have been their baby-sitter, something that didn’t necessarily sit well with either of you. Some first borns become the guardian and protector of their younger brothers or sisters.

~Dr. Kevin Leman

 

"First borns are born into a pressured yet treasured position. They are usually the objects of great delight in a family – they are the first. Parents and grandparents often overdo everything with first borns. There is an air of expectancy even before their birth. Names are chosen half way through the pregnancy and photo albums are filled as baby’s every special moment is captured on film. They are the centre of attention, which is an obvious plus if you are a first-born child.

 

The flipside to this adulation is that first borns are coached, prodded and pushed to perform. The expectations are high for first borns, particularly first-born boys, so pressure is something they know all about. It is no coincidence that anecdotal evidence suggest that first born males tend to be lower risk-takers as learners than girls or those in other birth positions. First-born boys fear failure so they often steer away from areas where they can’t excel. Interestingly, some first borns confuse excellence with perfectionism and won’t try unless they can do the perfect job. These kids drive their parents and teachers nuts as they just won’t move out of their comfort zones to take a few risks and even (shock, horror) mess up. This is first-born thing.

 

First borns are trailblazers for parents and for the children to follow. Parents are usually hardest on their first borns in terms of discipline and they loosen up as they move further down the family. First borns usually don’t react well to the arrival of the second born. To parents the arrival of another child means a playmate for their eldest. To the first born the arrival of another child means only one thing –DETHRONEMENT. You can read the headlines: “The emperor loses his crown.” Well not quite. The first-born child does everything in his of her power to retain the favoured first position. He will point out the failings of the second born to his parents. In all likelihood as he grows up the first born may well be less than pleasant to this intruder –particularly if they are both boys"

~Michael Grose - Why First Borns Fuss, Seconds Are Resilient and Last Borns Like To Laugh

 

"Traits of first-borns, the experts say, are goal-setting, high achievement, perfectionism, sense of responsibility, rule-keeping, and attention to detail. They also can be worriers and attempt to please everyone."

~Star Lawerence from webmd.com

 

If you're a first-born, these feelings may be familiar:

• "Everyone depends on me."
• "I can't get away with anything."
• "I don't get to be a kid."
• "Why do I have to do it? Nobody else does anything around here."
• "How come I'm responsible for what my little brother or sister did?"

Given the role that a first-born plays in a family, these feelings are understandable...and very common! However, that doesn't mean you can't change things. It's important to talk to a parent about the responsibilities, expectations, and rules that you feel are unfair or are making you feel bad.

Here are some personality traits that are common in first-borns:

Confident: All that attention over everything you do makes you more likely to believe in yourself.

Determined: Because your family might depend on you to get things done, you're probably good about finishing the projects you start.

Born Leader: Whether on the soccer field or in the classroom, you are often in charge. Oldest children are usually given the responsibility of baby-sitting and taking care of the house, so they get early training in being the boss.

Organized: You probably know where to find things, like your books, your Mom's keys, or your homework assignment. Even if your folders are a little messy, it's likely that you have a system.

Eager to Please: It's easy for oldest children to fall into this routine because they started out with a very strong need for Mom and Dad's approval, and eventually this spilled over to other adults such as teachers or coaches. When there's a job to be done, it's usually a first-born who jumps up and says "I'll do it!"

Likes to Avoid Trouble: When people expect a great deal from you, it can be hard to speak up or complain about something. You might not want to be seen as causing problems or less than "perfect."

So, being the oldest has its up and downs. There's definitely some pressure that comes with it! Parents might expect more of you and be more strict, especially if they're still setting up the rules of the family.

~from pbs.org

 

 

"When disciplining the first-born child, beware of reinforcing his ingrained perfectionism by "shoulding" him all the time. Actually it’s not wise to "should" anyone in your family, but when a first-born hears "should", it’s like waving a red flag in front of a bull, The first-born is already "shoulding" himself, and when you chime in it’s a double whammy: First he resents it; and, second, in private he is all the harder on himself, which will only lower his self-esteem and probably make him harder to deal with. Don’t be an "improver" on everything your first-born or only child says or does. It’s just one more deadly way reinforce his or her already ingrained perfectionism. Accept the slightly wrinkled bed, the not quite cleaned up room, whatever your child has done. When you do it over, you only sending a message that your child is not measuring up. Realize that first-borns have a particular need to know what the rules are. First borns are extremely sensitive to criticism and being corrected."

~Dr. Kevin Leman

 

I received so much response from my "mini" research on being the "Middle Child" that it occurred to me that I probably should find out how my older sister really feels about her life and position and how that may show up in her personality and everyday life. It was amazing to learn how "First Borns" ( my sister and my Dad) and actually "Only Children" ( called by many "Super First Borns")....of which my Mom is one. And as I review the list of clients and people I work with.....it is AMAZING how many of them are firstborns!!! Then it also hit me....that this would be rather normal for two reasons.....all families HAVE  a firstborn.....and in the music industry, the firstborns are such achievers that they will show up quite a bit more!!!!!!!

 

Being an observer of people.....and so interested in how to understand and meet their needs, encourage them, build them up, work with them, etc.....in other words, people are my business.....I find myself everyday wanting to learn more! This research on birth order over these past couple of days has been a real eye opener and with my recent focus on personalities, sabotage strategies and the like.... I am beginning to see that understanding the birth order will be an additional insight into the how's and why's of behavior....and provide some further insight in helping my clients and associates to develop their own people skills. In the music industry it is ALL about relationships....and a high level of people skills are necessary to accomplish all that is possible in this venture!

 

Today, as I got online to find out how my firstborn sister, Dad and Mom, and my oldest daughter, Amy feel and experience their lives....these few things popped out at me.....and it also helped me learn about how my firstborn clients, Kyle and Tara Hutton, Tres Womack, Matt Davis and Paige Stroman ( ALL FIRST BORNS!!!!!) feel about their lives and how they experience it! The good news is......I have a NEW compassion for those First Borns!!!!!!!!

 

I have seen each of these traits in the people I have listed above.....each has also dealt with their response according to their personality type.....FASCINATING! I remember loving the feeling...after my sister married and moved away....of being the "oldest".....but I NEVER really knew the pressure of being the oldest.....those expectations were never part of my life. I have never felt overwhelmingly responsible for ANYONE.....but myself! I never thought about the pressures of those expectations.....and how those feelings could create insecurities. My insecurities are there because I tend to feel no one expects anything from me.....NOT as a "pressures off" kind of thing but as a "you could NEVER do it anyway" sort of thing!!!! The thing I recognize even JUST TODAY...is that my experience actually sets me up to get a GREAT AMOUNT of encouragement and recognition when I do accomplish things.....they are not expected of me....only celebrated as the achievements they are!!

 

As I read this morning of all these pressures that my firstborn family members, clients and friends experience.....I am so THANKFUL for my "middle child" life!!!! I am thankful for the position I held in my family as I grew up. I realize now that the " invisibility" I feel is ACTUALLY a gift that gives me a TREMENDOUS sense of FREEDOM to BE JUST ME!  This little study has given me a new appreciation for my life and insight into my own schewed perspective...and reminds me that my feelings are NOT the TRUTH ...they are just my feelings! I can choose in any given moment to change my perspective and receive the TRUTH...act on it....and live in it.  

 

"God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end. So I concluded that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to enjoy themselves as long as they can. And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God. And I know that whatever God does is final. Nothing can be added to it or taken from it. God's purpose in this is that people should fear him."

~King Solomon in Ecclesiastes 3:11 - 14

 

Kathy Douglas

President/Owner

Extreme Dreams, LLC

8203 Schaffer Ln.

Houston, TX 77070

Office - 281-890-5034

Fax - 281-469-0267

Cell - 713-398-7304

kathyd@extreme-dreams.net

www.extreme-dreams.net

 

"Helping people enjoy the journey as much as the destination"

 

Check out my coaching journal at:

http://extreme-dreams.blogspot.com/

 

Being a Middle Child

"The middle or second born child or children often have the sense of not belonging. They fight to receive attention from parents and others because they feel many times they are being ignored or dubbed off as being the same as another sibling. Being in the middle a child can feel insecure......the best possible match for a middle child would be a last born"

~from website - Here are some characteristics of the middle born child or children

 

"Middle children often feel that they are neither here nor there. In their view, the roles of the older and younger siblings are more clearly defined. They may also feel cheated of parental attention that is given to the first-born achiever and the dependent youngest child. Some psychologists have given this condition a name – they call it “the middle-child syndrome”. "

~ from website -indiaparenting .com

 

If you're a middle child, these feelings may be familiar:

• "I'm tired of being left out of things."
• "Nobody understands me!"
• "Nobody ever listens to me!"
• "I'm always in the shadow of my older sister/brother."
• "My youngest brother/sister gets away with everything."

Sometimes middle children have to try a little harder to "be heard" or get noticed, so remember: if you feel like you're being treated unfairly or not getting the attention you need, talk to a parent about it. They might not even realize what's been going on.

Middle children are really special because the term "middle" can mean so many different things. For example, you could be the second of three kids, the third of four kids, the fifth of six kids, or a twin.

Here are some personality traits that are common in middle children:

Roll with It: Middle children often handle disappointments better. Say you strike out in softball and lose the game. If you were a first-born, you might feel guilty all day, but if you're a middle child, you'll probably find yourself just laughing it off.

Great Negotiator: Middles can be great at seeing both sides of an issue. After all, they're in the perfect place for it!

Lots of Loyal Friends: Middles tend to make friends easily. Once they have them, they often work harder to keep them. They're usually good at keeping secrets, too.

If you're a "middle child," you might feel like you were born too late to get the special first-born treatment. For example, the first time a baby says "mama" is a big-time event in a parent's life. When they have a second baby, and he or she says "mama," the parents are just as proud, but it doesn't usually pack the same "wow." This might be why many middle and youngest children find fewer photos of them in the family photo albums, or at least fewer photos of them by themselves. Kids that come along later are sharing their parents' attention, while the first-born didn't have to share.

~from the website - pbskids.org

"Although only a handful of researchers have actually examined the role of the middle born child, there is a general belief that middleborns are different from other birth positions, with different experiences and behaviors. One researcher, Jeannie Kidwell, for example, has suggested that middleborns may have lower self-esteem since they are not "unique" like firstborn- and lastborn-status children (i.e., firstborn and lastborn children get status, recognition, and attention that middleborns may not receive). Several other researchers have suggested that middleborns may be more likely to report that "life is unfair" since their oldest sibling may have "all the rights" and the youngest "all the privileges".

However, researchers also report that middle born children sometimes become experts at mediating and compromising; that is, they become skilled at playing the "peacemaker" role. And, it also has been found that middle born children may spend more time with friends than other children in the family, since with friends, they may get a chance to have the status and recognition that they don't feel they receive at home."

~Stacy Nagel at parenthood.com

It is an amazing thing as I have been thinking about all of this over the past week or so.....and it shows up in every area of my life, not just in my immediate family. I went online to see if the idea that my mother has held, that I have "middle child syndrome", is validated by the experiences of other middle children. The amazing part is that I COMPLETELY connect with ALL of the issues that fit within this perspective of the experience of "Middle Children". WHEW!!!!! I guess it proves I am NOT crazy....or maybe it does???? :)

I can remember as a child going through the family album of pictures MANY TIMES and COUNTING the numbers of pictures that were of my older sister and my younger brother.....and saying to myself  "SEE.....I was right....they love them more....they take MORE pictures of them!!!" Part of me wants to laugh at the ridiculousness of my so called "PROOF" ....and the other part of me wants to cry.

I married a "last-born"....my husband, Jack is the youngest of TWO. I told him when we were dating I wanted to have 4 kids...I never wanted ANYONE to have to be a middle child like I was.....we have 3 girls. When our twin girls were born, I was so glad....cause as twins there was no one in the middle.....and yet, Sydney, born 1 minute before her sister, Sara .....has taken on the "middle child" syndrome herself. I can SOOOOOOOOO relate to her, though we are opposite in personalities.....I feel her pain...and we connect as middle children!!!!!!

I was always working VERY hard to OUT-DO my older sister......and I now get some sense of the pain of her experience of our relationship as my constant "one-up-manship" of her probably didn't feel real good!!!!! ....and my not honoring her for all of her achievements and attainments just for the what they were.....GREAT achievements!!  I am not sure she ever realized that I looked up to her and wanted to be just like her......and felt I would never measure up.....so I decided I would try to out-do her in the areas that were not her strengths.

Jody, I am so sorry for how I did not recognize you enough for who you are.....I simply missed it. I was so concerned about myself.....my own need to be noticed in all of it.....that I missed telling you how much I admired you for how beautiful you are, for what an incredible leader, teacher, and mother you are. You needed that from me.....and I want to ask you to forgive me for my self-centeredness and self-pity.

The VERY best time of my life as a kid was when my older sister got married and moved away.... it wasn't so much that she moved away as the fact that from that point on..... I got to be the oldest. It was my high school years...and I remember my mom telling me that was when I "blossomed" as a person......I stepped into my "own".....I took on leadership, I found myself. Yes, I struggled with a lot, as all teenagers do....but I felt important, recognized and special during those years.

I see all of this in Sydney also. We are both "achievers"......we are both VERY good at negotiating, seeing both sides of the issue, compromising, accomodating, secret keeping...and for both of us, our friendships are VERY important. Being the middle child has been a special gift from God in both of our lives....though we miss the reality of that gift so often in the pain of it.

The one thing I did do....was tell my parents how I felt ALL THE TIME! They listened and worked very hard to make me feel important....and now as a parent of a middle child, I have compassion for the frustration they experienced in raising me!!!!  THIS IS REALLY HARD WORK!!!!

I realize that even now I struggle with this issue in my everyday life......and it shows up in weird ways in all kinds of relationships....mainly just because of that nagging feeling that seems to be inherent in the life of all "middle children"...that lonesome feeling of "being left out", "not fitting in", " excluded", "invisible"......and I am learning that the only response needs to be acknowledgement, so I can release it and experience the TRUTH...that I am loved, included and QUITE visible....and that God is at work in EVERY area of my life....and ALWAYS HAS BEEN!!!!!

"Long before He laid down the earth's foundations, He had us ( me and you included!!! ) in mind, had settled on us as the focus of His Love."

~ Paul in his letter to the Ephesians 1:4

 

Kathy Douglas

President/Owner

Extreme Dreams, LLC

8203 Schaffer Ln.

Houston, TX 77070

Office - 281-890-5034

Fax - 281-469-0267

Cell - 713-398-7304

kathyd@extreme-dreams.net

www.extreme-dreams.net

 

"Helping people enjoy the journey as much as the destination"

 

Check out my coaching journal at:

http://extreme-dreams.blogspot.com/

 

How do you think of God?

Some 18 years ago I was given this short story. I used to read it at the end of each of the workshops I spoke at, trainings I taught and speeches I made......and God has used it again and again to remind me that HE is the one in the front seat on this WILD ride!!!!! I hope you enjoy THIS tale of the Journey as much as I have.....and that it will speak to you about your journey as much as it has to me...especially on this newer and scarier part of my journey!

 

At first I saw God as my observer, my judge, keeping track of the things I did wrong, so as to know whether I merited Heaven or Hell when I die. He was out there sort of like the President. I recognized his picture when I saw it, but I didn't really know Him.

 

But later on when I came to know the Lord, it seemed as though Life was rather like a bike ride.....but it was a tandem bike, and I noticed that God was in the back helping me pedal. I didn't know just when it was that He suggested we change places, but Life has not been the same since.....Life with my Lord, that is. God makes Life EXCITING!

 

When I had control, I knew the way. It was rather boring....but predictable. It was the shortest distance between two points. But when He took the lead, He knew delightful long cuts. Up mountains, and through rocky places and at BREAKNECK speeds.....it was all I could do to hang on!!!!!!! Even though it looked like madness, He said, "Pedal!"

 

I was worried and was anxious and asked, "Where are you taking me???" He laughed and didn't answer, and I started to learn to trust. I forgot my boring life and entered into the adventure. AND when I'd say "I'm SCARED!!!!" , He'd lean back and touch my hand.

 

He took me to people with gifts that I needed...gifts of healing, acceptance and joy. They gave me their gifts to take on my journey - OUR JOURNEY - God's and mine.  As we were off again! He said, "Give the gifts away, they're extra baggage - too much weight!"  So I did, to the people we met......and I found that in giving, I received, and still our burden was light.

 

I did not trust Him at first - in control of my Life. I thought He'd wreck it, but He knows bike secrets - knows how to make it bend to take sharp corners, jump to clear high rocks, fly to shorten scary passages. AND I am learning to shut up and pedal in the strangest places....and I'm beginning to enjoy the view and the cool breeze on my face with my delightful constant companion...the Lord.

 

And when I am SURE I just can't do any more, He just smiles and says......"PEDAL."

 

I have no idea who wrote this....I would love to find out and thank them for the gift they have given to me. I give this gift to each of you!

 

Kathy Douglas

President/Owner

Extreme Dreams, LLC

8203 Schaffer Ln.

Houston, TX 77070

Office - 281-890-5034

Fax - 281-469-0267

Cell - 713-398-7304

kathyd@extreme-dreams.net

www.extreme-dreams.net

 

"Helping people enjoy the journey as much as the destination"

 

Check out my coaching journal at:

http://extreme-dreams.blogspot.com/

 

Fitting In

 "Trust in God is ... the belief that God is good, that He’s gracious, charitable, and on our side. All He wants is for us to put our hand in His hand and let Him guide us through life. We are, in a sense, like distrusting, rebellious children. We’re saying, "No, no. You might make me do something I don’t want to do. You might make me go somewhere I don’t want to go. You might make me different than I may want to be." ...But the truth is that He is generous, caring, and gracious towards us. Our Father in heaven is trustworthy. So many of us are going to have a surprise when we stand before Him that day.... We’ll discover that He had wanted to give us so much here and now but we couldn’t receive it because we had fearful expectations."

~John Wimber, excerpted from Daily Power Points, devotional available at Doin' the Stuff

 

"Never doubt in the dark what God has shown you in the light."
 ~Edith Edma

 

"God is not going to let you get slaughtered."

~Pastor Bill Myers

 

"The Spirit does not lead you to pray for useless goals."

~Wesley L. Duewel--Mighty Prevailing Prayer (Zondervan)

 

"God's Word does not say, "Call unto me, and you will thereby be trained into the happy art of knowing how to be denied. Ask, and you will learn sweet patience by getting nothing." Far from it. But it is definite, clear and positive: "Ask, and it shall be given unto you."

~E. M. Bounds

 

"The idea that this world is a playground instead of a battleground has now been accepted in practice by the vast majority of Christians. They are facing Christ and the world....The ‘worship’ growing out of such a view of life is as far off center as the view itself - a sort of sanctified nightclub without the champagne and the dressed-up drunks."

~ This World: Playground or Battleground? by A.W. Tozer, pp. 5-6.

 

I don't fit in....I am not sure I ever have....and it is the deepest pain of my life. I have tried to fit in....I have tried to be for people who and what they want me to be so that I will fit in.....all to no avail. I have tried to somewhat come to an acceptance of the reality of this in my life....and yet I catch myself DAILY falling into the hole of once again trying to fit it......once again feeling the hurt and pain of NOT fitting in.

 

I try many times to figure out why I feel and experience my life this way.......my family moved constantly ( I lived in 36 different dwellings up until 15 years ago when Jack and I bought this house!).....I had to start over again and again TRYING to fit into the new world I was placed in with each move. Maybe THAT was the cause of my nagging feeling that I don't fit in anywhere???? But then I have also had the sense within my own family....all the while knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that they love me deeply!!!! AND I have that same feeling amongst my husband's family.....though I am QUITE aware that they also love me!  I have loads of friends who I am QUITE SURE that they love me too....and yet I still have this deep sense that I do not fit into their lives. In every instance the saying "It's not you....it's me!" ABSOLUETLY applys!!!!!!! It truly is in ME...is is not the fault of any of these relationships!

 

My deepest longing and heart is to completely "fit in"......and I have realized this morning that it has been the deepest pursuit of my entire life. And at that moment of recognition....I have realized that the truest place in which I completely fit into is the Heart of God. What A PLACE!!!!!!!!!!!!! And that the battle I face daily is to accept the truth that this world is not my home.....and that the lie that I continually fall into believing is a lie that I have been forgotten, left and discarded as unworthy of fitting in ANYWHERE. I have at times even fallen for the lie that God does not want me to "fit in" and so He puts me into situations and with people who will remind me that I do not belong. Absolutely NONE of this serves God's purposes in my life or reflects the truth that God is good to me, His Beloved.

 

When I can crawl back to that truth....I can stand up and accept that this sense of "not fitting in" is simply the battleground of my life...not the prevailing story. I can recognize that it is not only my battleground.....but also the battleground of so many others that I know and love. AND I can accept the assignment that seems to me like a backwards perspective so many times......to give what I need. Give to others the very thing I am lacking......and only then will it my own need be met fully.

 

How is that possible???? Only as I surrender to the truth that I have nothing and never will have ANYTHING within myself.....all I have is the Life and Power of Jesus Christ living within me. And that is MORE THAN enough for me and for all whom God places in my life. The more I release myself to Him to be a conduit for His love, grace, and mercy.....the more I am able to receive from Him more than I need. The more I hold onto the little that I think I have.....the less it becomes.....the less I am able to receive from Him. WOW.....what a gift....and what a challenge!!!!

"If he asks for fish, do you scare him with a live snake on his plate? As bad as you are, you wouldn't think of such a thing. You're at least decent to your own children. So don't you think the God who conceived you in love will be even better? Here is a simple, rule-of-thumb guide for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you, then grab the initiative and do it for them. Add up God's Law and Prophets and this is what you get."

~Jesus in Matthew 7:10-12 (The Message)

Kathy Douglas

President/Owner

Extreme Dreams, LLC

8203 Schaffer Ln.

Houston, TX 77070

Office - 281-890-5034

Fax - 281-469-0267

Cell - 713-398-7304

kathyd@extreme-dreams.net

www.extreme-dreams.net

 

"Helping people enjoy the journey as much as the destination"

 

Check out my coaching journal at:

http://extreme-dreams.blogspot.com/

 

Freedom to Choose Flexibility

"New ideas stir from every corner. The show up disguised innocently as interruptions, contradictions and embarrassing dilemmas. Beware of total strangers and friends alike who shower you with comfortable sameness, and remain open to those who make you uneasy, for they are the true messengers of the future."
~Rob Lebow

"Flexibility and adaptability do not happen just by reacting fast to new information. They arise from mental and emotional balance, the lack of attachment to specific outcomes, and putting care for self and others as a prime operating principle. Flexible attitudes build flexible physiology. Flexible physiology means more resilience in times of challenge or strain. Staying open—emotionally—insures internal flexibility."

"As any jazz musician knows, it takes flexibility and adaptability for improvisation to create beauty."
~Doc Childre and Bruce Cryer, From Chaos to Coherence


"The bend in the road is not the end of the road unless you refuse to take the turn."
~Anon

"The best things in life are not free but priceless"
~Benjamin Lichtenberg

"Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us."
~Stephen Covey

"If you ever get a second chance in life for something, you've got to go all the way."
~Lance Armstrong

Yesterday required tremendous flexibility from me. The choice remained continually in front of me as to whether I would choose to walk in the freedom that has been provided to me in my relationship with my Lord.....or would I get sucked into the slavery that so easily can entangle me into a narrow perspective that demands that EVERYTHING fit my own little understanding about how my life should play out. It is a daily......NO, a moment by moment surrender of my own small vision to the bigger reality of God's extreme dream for my life and the lives of those around me.

I don't like messes.....and yet I woke up yesterday to a HUGE mess that I could not prevent. My frustration with it could not stop it, my wish that it was not happening did not change it......I could only surrender to the wisdom continually being provided to me and direct my resources towards the solutions. So as of today....I have a new domain name for my website.....www.extreme-dreams.net....which, until something changes in the "internet cyberspace world", will be our new website address.

In the midst of the chaos and confusion of the internet world, incredible breakthroughs were developing in the TRUE and IMPORTANT worlds of my life. AND in the midst of the part I HAD to focus on managing....the internet mess...God continued to communicate to me through ALL SORTS of methods....that HE was at work to move all the important and true issues into a culmination of His perfect plan and will. And I was reminded this morning that I was not NEEDED by Him to "do" anything to bring them about......I was only invited by Him to enjoy the Journey that He has so graciously included me on in this life He has given me.

Yesterday, Kyle Hutton began the recording process for his long awaited 3rd album.....and I am more excited today about what God is doing in and through Kyle than I have ever been in all the years I have known him and loved his music. He is a true man of integrity and vision. He has stepped out into an "unknown" with courage and flexibility, strength and vulnerability.....and gone to places within himself that most men fear to go. Which in my humble opinion, makes him a real life hero.

Yesterday, my oldest daughter Amy, made decisions about her life that are difficult and challenging....and followed through with them with a sense of conviction and hope. She has chosen a path on this journey that is filled with twists and turns....her training as a gymnast is coming in handy!!!!!!! She has more courage and tenacity in her little finger than most people have in their entire lives!!!!! I could not be more proud of her!!!!!

Yesterday, several relationships with business people who have believed in me...only God knows why!!!!! .....were able to come into place as we have begun putting the pieces of the puzzle together that will create the bigger vision of Extreme Dreams. The greatest joy I have is that each of these people have helped encourage me along the path over these past 6 years and now they will each benefit in some way from that kindness. What a blessing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then this morning, my Life Coach Jim, wrapped it all up into a nice little package, reminding me that this is all quite NORMAL for my life....and completely expected when I look at all of it from the eternal perspective that God sees from.

My life is so full of incredibly wonderful people......I am blessed beyond belief to have this life I have......and to have the gift of grace that has allowed me to enjoy all the goodness that God has provided to me.

"I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living."
~Psalms 69:16

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin (that make huge messes!!!!) so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."
~Hebrews 12:1

Kathy Douglas

President/Owner

Extreme Dreams, LLC

8203 Schaffer Ln.

Houston, TX 77070

Office - 281-890-5034

Fax - 281-469-0267

Cell - 713-398-7304

www.extreme-dreams.net

"Helping people enjoy the journey as much as the destination"

Check out my coaching journal at:

http://extreme-dreams.blogspot.com/

The lessons I learned from my Mother

"If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance."
~George Bernard Shaw

 

"Trouble is part of your life — if you don't share it, you don't give the person who loves you a chance to love you enough."
~Dinah Shore

 

"Until you make peace with who you are, you'll never be content with what you have"

~Doris Mortman

 

"Harmonizing heart and brain through love is what can establish a complete intelligence, a complete self, where a child can look at life and realize there are no dead ends, there are always possibilities. The greatest gift a parent can give a child during all the ups and downs of life is love."
~Doc Childre, Teaching Children to Love

 

"Grief and tragedy and hatred are only for a time. Goodness, remembrance and love have no end."
~American President George W. Bush, in Reader's Digest, November 2001

 

"Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved."
~Barbara Johnson

 

"The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat, something to drink and somebody to love you."

~Brandan Behan

 

"The art of living lies not in eliminating but in growing with troubles." 
~ Bernard M. Baruch, American financier (1870-1965)

 

"If you raise your children to feel that they can accomplish any goal or task they decide upon, you will have succeeded as a parent and you will have given your children the greatest of all blessings." 

~ Brian Tracy

 

"Parents are stepping-stones to their child's future, giving them strong foundations to travel into adulthood, keeping their heads above the water, until they grow, jump in, and swim on their own."

- Michelle C. Ustaszeski 

 

"Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition."
~Alexander Smith

 

"This is the story of my life. My life is the culmination of all the lives that have gone before me, lives of some who I knew and lives of those I will only meet one day in eternity. My life is the sum of all their dreams, their sorrows, their joys, their pain, their laughter, their defeats, their triumphs, their births and deaths. I am grateful to all of them for persevering, for leaving me the legacy of their stories, and for the hope that they passed down to me and to the future generations of our family."

~ Kathy Douglas

 

This paragraph is the beginning of the book that my mother, Charlotte Wylie and I are writing together. We have been working on it all of my life.....she has shared the stories of my ancestors and I have loved each one of them as she has told me of their lives, their struggles, their pain and their triumphs. I have connected with each one of them throughout the years and their example has been for me the torch that has lit the way in many dark nights and days. I have found courage, hope and strength in their stories, and I have learned from my mother that life is all about loving.

 

Today is my mother's birthday. And as I look at the life she has lived and the results of that life, I am so proud of the choices she has made. I am so proud to be her daughter! She has faced loss, abandonment, adversity, fear, pain and sorrow.....and deeply felt it all. And until recently, I never had realized the wisdom and courage of her choice to openly share it all with her children.....I thought everyone did that! I thought everyone knew the stories of their families....the stories of their parents, grandparents and ancestors.....the depth of their pain and the height of their joy. Until recently, I took that incredible privilege for granted and assumed that it was just an expected part of life.

 

Who I have become is the result of the loving, training, nurturing and commitment my mother has had to being who she is and holding me to being who I am. She would have loved to see me enjoy playing with baby dolls and tea sets when I was a little girl, but accepted that I preferred a holster and set of six guns and so gave those to me for my 5th birthday......though she did make several attempts to hook me up with the dolls and tea sets! :) She would have preferred that I chose safe and risk-free pursuits rather than insisting on throwing myself over the line and risk pain......but she was there to cheer me on with pride as I accomplished the difficult challenges I put before myself .....always reminding me that I was completely loved whether or not I accomplished ANYTHING...I am loved simply for who I am....her daughter!

 

As I look back on my life.....I must say my parents were not perfect parents....those don't exist! But I always knew I can talk to my mom about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING and I would get her straightforward and clear opinion on the matter....and even if my thoughts or decisions were different, she would love me and believe in me NO MATTER WHAT! She is exactly who I needed as a mom. Her love created a sense of safety and security within me that I can only hope I have been able to pass on to my daughters.

 

So......Happy Birthday, MOM!!!!!!!!!! I love you and appreciate EVERYTHING about you! I am so thankful that you are my MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

Kathy Douglas

President/Owner

Extreme Dreams, LLC

8203 Schaffer Ln.

Houston, TX 77070

Office - 281-890-5034

Fax - 281-469-0267

Cell - 713-398-7304

kathyd@extreme-dreams.com

www.extreme-dreams.com

 

"Helping people enjoy the journey as much as the destination"

 

Check out my coaching journal at:

http://extreme-dreams.blogspot.com/