The difference a year can make......

Come to me now And lay Your hands over me Will You find me tonight Say it will be alright And I will believe  Broken in two I know You’re on to me That I only come home When I’m so all alone But I do believe  That not everything is gonna be the way 
You think it ought to be  It seems like every time I try and make it right It all comes down on me Please say honestly You won’t give up on me And I shall believe  Open the door And show me Your face tonight I know it’s true No one heals me like You And You hold the key  Never again will I turn away from You I’m so heavy tonight But Your love is alright And I do believe

~Sheryl Crowe

If you ever get a second chance in life for something, you've got to go all the way.

~Lance Armstrong

 

 If you're going through hell, keep going.

 ~Winston Churchill

 

Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth- that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves, too.

 ~W.H. Murray, The Story of Everest

 

One year ago.....so much has happened and so much has changed.....and I am getting clearer about the reality of how life goes for me. I am beginning to accept that change is a constant that God has and will continue to work again and again into my life...whether I like it or not. Sometimes I wish He would just give up on me.....because going through the pain of change is so very hard and then on the other side I am so grateful that He has not given up on me! I have reaped the rewards through the years of allowing Him to change me....OK....actually it is more like finally giving in to His plan to change me.....to transform me into His image.

 

Things are WAY different than the way I thought they would be. One year ago I was ready to throw in the towel and accept defeat. I couldn't see how anything could work out....everything seemed to be falling apart...and as Sheryl Crowe so beautifully wrote...." coming down on me"......I was at my lowest point I had ever been, I felt abandoned and rejected, used and abused, not only by those around me but by God Himself.

 

As I look back over this year, I realize He never abandoned me, He never rejected me, He wasn't using or abusing me, He had a plan all along.....and it was all for a good work He was doing in me.....His Dream for me and for those He has called and trained me to support and help in their music careers, was moving forward in ways I knew nothing about....and couldn't have imagined in a million years.

 

I made a decision at this time last year to hang on....to commit to the vision that God had placed in my heart years prior....even if I was the only one who wanted to keep going....I made the decision to give it all of me. I took what I had....and began praying for God's direction and guidance.....and He gave it freely. None of it was easy...and things didn't get better, actually they seemed in many ways to get worse. And yet I could not give up....no matter how hard I tried to convince God of why I was not cut out for this and how incapable I was of what He was asking me to do.....He just would not accept my attempts to bail on this dream.

 

In the midst of all of it....when I was so scared that it would all come down on me once more....God stepped in again to encourage me. My partner, Jeffery, asked me to have lunch with him and a friend of his who was a contemporary Christian artist, Matt Brouwer. I had gone to the lunch appointment with no expectation of anything but a nice meal and to listen. I walked away with the information that he had a hit single on Christian radio and a CD.  My first step was to listen to the hit song and see what I thought. I cried all the way back to my office as I listened to the lyrics written by Sheryl Crowe and the voice of Matt Brouwer. I felt God reached down and heard Him speak right then and there to the pain I had been going through for over 4 years, that had culminated in the complete and utter brokenness and defeat I had felt last July....and I felt His presence and His voice saying to me then and even now " I have not and never will give up on My Dream for you!"  

 

Even if getting that song to me was all that God had planned for that meeting.....it would have been more than enough!!!!!! It was the beginning of the healing process for me...the point at which I can look back and realize that God reached through all of my pain and fear......to begin unlocking the doors to where He is taking His Dream. The song continues to reach through and touch my heart in ways that I could never explain in words......and I am grateful to Sheryl for bearing her soul and to Matt for taking a song that meant so much to him and sharing it with all of us.

 

As I sit here today....one year later. I can hardly take in all the incredible things that God has done this year. Dreams really do come true.....and this dream that God has, well..... it is really happening. It still is really hard....and it still doesn't always turn out like I thought it would. I am holding all of it with an open hand....and trusting that He will shape and mold everything to His plan.....and it will be more beautiful than anything I could ever dream or imagine.

 

Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

~Paul in Philippians 1:6

Extreme Dreams, LLC
Kathy Douglas
President
10603 Grant Rd. Ste 110
Houston, TX 77070
Office - 281-890-5034
Fax - 281-890-0300
Cell - 713-398-7304
www.extreme-dreams.net/
www.extremedreamsevents.com

kathyd@extreme-dreams.net

"Helping people enjoy the Journey as much as the Destination"

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